there's a circus in my brain

Update...

2011-07-19T15:58:00.004-05:00

I'm feeling pretty uninspired these days, so I haven't been writing anything.

I did get drafted into my first mission trip with the youth, but I already told you about that. I had an amazing time. The kids were pretty good, and the leadership was exceptional. We have a group of college kids who feel called into ministry and who work with the youth groups of our church. These interns are really on fire for the Lord, and so cool that the kids do whatever they ask. I mean, they are like the cool big brothers and sisters that they don't want to disappoint.

Which works!

The kitchen duties seemed overwhelming at first, but everything just flowed. I had a great team, and we worked together well. The kitchen was a little under-supplied, but the serving facilities were awesome! I got some good intel from our own kitchen lady, and she steered me in the right direction. Everything she said was spot on, and it was like she'd been doing this for 30 years or more. (she has...)

And the comments from the kids were so encouraging! "This is the best thing I ever ate!" was something I heard more than once. One of the interns declared the food the best camp food he'd ever had, then informed me that he'd been to camp A LOT!

Makes this kitchen lady smile, just thinking about it.

Meanwhile, God had a few things to show me while I was there. He took me out of my comfort zone to give me a little perspective on my own circumstances. Gave me a word just for me.

I needed to hear from Him, and He spoke. Revealed some personal sin to me, and told me He's gonna use me to do some work. So I've been praying a lot and staying in a general attitude of willingness to be used.

I decided to go to the church gym yesterday and get busy walking and rope jumping again, when I was snagged by the new trainer. Seems this lady was told by the Lord to help out anyone who would come, and she took my presence for willingness.

Stink.

So now I'm going daily at 10 and doing 30 minutes of cardio and about an hour of weight training.

I say that like I have been doing it for weeks, instead of two days.

Hey, commitment can come after such a short time!

'Scuse me while I hobble off to the hot tub...

Outside the Comfort Zone

2011-07-08T07:25:00.003-05:00

I'm not really sure what happened. It really just sneaked (snuck??) up on me.

I got a call from a friend, who is organizing youth functions for our church.

"Diane, I have a need, and your name just keeps coming to mind. I was wondering if you would be willing to work on the cooking team for the mid-high mission trip next week."

Hmmm. Let me think. I am pretty free these days, but I have a Pampered Chef party next Friday at my house... (which my husband is secretly looking forward to, because it means the house will be clean...)

We will be back in time for that? Well, let me see if I can arrange childcare.

*Childcare mysteriously falls into place...

Okay, I'm in.

"Good, you will be feeding fifty people, and I need a menu and grocery list as soon as possible."

WHAT?!?!?! I thought I was just going to be HELPING, not PLANNING!!

I am NOT A PLANNER!!

*Groan... opens excel to build a menu spreadsheet...

Side kick

2011-06-30T23:56:00.004-05:00

Okay, so you probably noticed that I have been missing for a little while. I have been having a family crisis. And since most of you are facebook friends, you likely already know of which I speak. But just in case someone is out of the loop, I'll link you to my sister's blog and you can read her version. It's her story, really. I'm just the BFF, who has jumped in as hero support.

I make a good side-kick.

Hmm... gonna have to think of a good side-kick name...

Meanwhile, I'm stewing on the sidelines with a few good zingers, which the fact that I'm trying to do the upright thing, won't allow me to scream.

We aren't really sure what to expect next, but since I'm really bad "at this game" of remembering details, even five minutes after things happen, (according to my sister, :) I have written a detailed account, for any event which should require me to recall stuff.

Thankfully, my kids are getting old enough to see what this has done to our family. I have shielded them from the truth, because it is so hard to understand, for children. Shoot! I'm almost 40, and I still don't get it. But this time, they have seen it all. They have seen the destruction and the pain. They have witnessed the brokenness and heartache. But the best thing, is that they have seen that real love doesn't always come from family. Sometimes it comes from friends and sometimes it comes from people you barely know.

And God has been with us through it all. They have seen me rely on Him in a way I never have before, giving glory to God all the way. What more could I ask for?

Lava Rock Girl.

I'm going with that one.

SO busy!

2011-06-03T11:01:00.003-05:00

It is almost noon and what have I done today? I have been outside for a walk/run and taken a nap. I have read a bit and facebooked a bit. I have prayed for a while and caught up on a few blogs I enjoy. Basically, I have done nothing. At this very moment my children are watching their second hour of television, and their brains are turning to mush.
It 's not like I have nothing to do, mind you.
The house is a mess.
The boat needs to be finished getting clean.
The laundry should be going.
The dogs need bathed.
The wallpaper in Caleb's room needs to be finished being stripped.
I have guests coming over for dinner, and I'm not really sure what we are having yet.
I should really get busy.
After I lay out...

The Testimony of the Dogs

2011-05-05T12:50:00.002-05:00

All day today the dogs have been following me around the house. They are freaking out at the flurry of activity. The fact that I am wearing shoes bears witness that I am ready to leave them, and I have left them a lot in the past ten months. They are used to me sitting on the couch under a blanket whenever I am home, so watching me scurry around doing laundry and dishes is rocking their little world. They'll get over it.

And..... I'm back!

2011-05-04T12:02:00.003-05:00

Wow! Today is literally the first day of the rest of my life.
Yesterday I told Caleb I was so excited for today. "Why?" He wondered...
Because I get to do laundry. And dishes. And scrub the toilets. And mow the grass. And chop some wood. And. And. And...
Yes, after ten months of diverting my attention to the cause of paying tuition for Hailey, I am returning to my assigned role of stay-at-home-mom and homeschool teacher.
I'd like to think that I am wiser. I know for sure that I am stronger. (and thinner) :-)
When I emerge from the mountain of chores that have awaited my attention for so long, I will share what led me to this place, and details of the growing I have done this past school year.
I have missed you all, almost as much as I have missed my children.
But not quite. ;-)

Crow~ It's What's for Dinner

2011-03-11T21:28:00.003-06:00

I feel a ramble coming on.
Yesterday I was the object of a virtual girl-gang fight, and it was absolutely surreal. Not only did I not see it coming, I didn't think it was warranted at all. But in the end, I caved. I didn't want to. I still don't want to. But I did it for Christians and for the sake of doing the right thing. In spite of the fact that I think the instigator of the mess was completely in the wrong. Way to take one for the Lord, eh? Well, let me tell ya. The fact that I am still not happy about eating it should show just how much of a hypocrite I feel like.
Sometimes doing the right thing TOTALLY SUCKS!!!
I told Shawn, after I ended it, that it is almost like the fight I'm in for my health. I don't want to eat the salad. I want the cake. But the cake is only for immediate satisfaction. So I put on my big girl panties and eat the salad. All the while, grumbling under my breath that the cake would have been much yummier. I didn't do the right thing because I wanted to, I did it because I HAD to. So what if I don't want to? The result is the same. I am fed and have the results of a good decision under my belt.
SNORT-literally!
Meanwhile, I feel battered emotionally by someone I have kept contact with over the years, solely in the hopes that she will be drawn to the things of the Lord. I know I'm not a perfect example of Christianity. HELLO? I'm more than a hundred pounds overweight! Somewhere I have idols that are quite obvious.
I wanted so badly to lash out with the pain and defensiveness that I felt. In fact, I still feel it. I spent the whole night at work feverishly praying for forgiveness and the right attitude. I'm still not there. I have moments of forgiveness and peace, but then I fall back into defense mode and wanna go kick her tail. What? I'm human, and she attacked me publicly! But, for her sake, and for the sake of her friends, who were right on board for the Diane-and-all-Christians-out-there bashing session, I apologized for offending her and removed the offensive material.
Maybe tomorrow I will stop being mad about it.

Are You Kidding Me??

2011-02-20T06:27:00.003-06:00

Some people are just born stupid. Some of us are a little naive at times, and some of us are more than their share of, um, scatter-brained. I refuse to admit where I fall on this scale, in the effort not to incriminate myself.
Okay, fine. I admit I am quite scattered, and have to run back in the house (or send a kid, as it is easier, and doesn't require me to unbuckle my already buckled seat belt.) for something I forgot, that I will likely need while I am away from home. This might include my cell phone, Zune, sunglasses, jacket, water bottle, the other person still getting ready, etc.
I frequently set things down upon arriving home and forget where I have put them, prompting a frantic search when I am attempting to go somewhere the next time. Keys, phone, purse, jacket, water bottle, etc...
And then there are the times when the kids, in their effort to "clean" their zones, will pick up said items, and stash them in the oddest places. Most of the time, they don't even remember where they have stashed the cannot-do-without item, and there is a full-alert lock down until the item surfaces.
Thus my morning began yesterday.
I woke up at noon, and while I was sleeping, Shawn and a handy-man I know had begun the project of re-flooring the kitchen/living room. (details on that later) I have worked with this handy-man on many occasions with my mom, so I feel very comfortable around him. So I got up, and was a little surprised to find that he had brought along a helper. The job is really big, so it made sense, but the guy was a stranger to me.
ANYway, I introduced myself and explained that I was sleeping until noon because I work nights, so he didn't think I was lazy, or something, when Shawn came back in to tell me that we needed to go pick out grout.
I threw on my shoes, grabbed my purse, and checked to make sure I had my phone, so the kids could call me when one of them was touching the other, which is when they feel the need to call me.
No phone.
Now, where did I lay that thing when I came in this morning?
Hmm. I'll call it.
*Picks up house phone and dials the number*
"Hi, this is Diane...."
Straight to voicemail. Great.
Then it hit me. I'd been having problems having to re-boot it, because I never powered it off, so I decided to power it down this morning. I set it right next to the stove, on the clean kitchen counter. And left it there. Where it wasn't anymore. Suddenly, Shawn remembered seeing it there. The kids adamantly denied stashing it somewhere, but we looked in all the usual places, on top the microwave, on top the refrigerator, in the bathroom, on my night stand, on the piano, fireplace, charging station, in my purse, in the refrigerator, pantry, microwave, my purse again...
It was just gone.
Then I realized there was one person in my house I didn't know, and I told Shawn, "I don't know that guy."
Shawn said I had to ask the handy-man if there was a chance...
So I did.
"Um, I have to ask you a really hard question, and I really don't want to ask it. Is there any chance your helper picked up my phone?"
"I don't think so, but I'll ask."
*Pokes his head out the door*
"Hey, have you seen her phone?"
"What does it look like?"
*I poke my head out and say*
"It's an iPhone in a red case."
"Nope, haven't seen it."
"It was on the kitchen counter. Are you sure you didn't see it at all?"
"Nope."
At this time, I was pretty certain, but short of searching him, there was no way to know anything, so I continued the search, and left the handy-man with his helper. I could hear the handy-man through the door, but not what he was saying.
Moments later, the helper came back in the house and went into the bathroom. I waited. When he came out, Shawn and I went in to check. We each opened a drawer. Then I saw it. Stashed in a candle on the counter.
Um, no.
Needless to say, he was escorted off the property, in complete denial of the deed, and my trusty handy-man came back with his son-in-law, whom I have had the pleasure of working with and trust, and the job was resumed.
The end.

The Cruise in Retrospect

2011-01-20T13:58:00.006-06:00

If I had to express how I feel about the cruise, I'd simply say this.

I had a fabulous time.

I was pampered.

I was cared for.

I was relaxed.

I rested.

I enjoyed myself.

That said, I could take or leave the cruise scene. I enjoyed not being responsible for food, cleaning, or childcare for a week. But we don't drink, we don't gamble, we don't care which man has the sexiest legs or the best belly flop. We don't enjoy suggestive humor all that much, and we were never really into the Beetles. And who knew that karaoke is really just an excuse to get drunk and make an idiot of yourself?!?!

We don't have money to island hop in search of the best deal on diamonds or tanzanite, so shopping isn't really our bag.

Renting a boogie board and some fins is more our speed. Playing frisbee on the beach is fun and relaxing. Watching Caleb roll around in the surf and sand is entertaining, and taking Hailey to have her hair braided by an island local suits us just fine. Touring an old military fort is educational, and shooting the breeze with the family is great.

Snuggling in a hammock grove with my sweetie is cozy, and the combined sounds of the ocean and the swaying palm trees is enchanting.

Riding ATVs up mountains and back down through sub-tropical forests is awesome, as is sampling the various native fruits and foods of a certain sulphurous island. Snorkeling around a tropical reef on a rainy day is amazing.

The color of the sea is positively alive. I am addicted to it now.

I am pretty sure that I could live comfortably on the beach where Mary and Harley got married. I hope we get to return and revisit some of our destinations someday. Meanwhile, I have tons of pictures to enjoy and remember.

Free from Fraud

2011-01-19T15:55:00.002-06:00

She is a fraud.

A faker.

She dons her facade like a cloak for the night and fools everyone.

But they are beginning to suspect the truth.

That she is not what she seems.

Her feigned strength is fading, and she falters.

How long will it be before she fails?

Before she flings far the trappings of the role she has mistakenly assumed?

And embraces freedom?

To be who she was made to be?

To function fully as she was fashioned?

You mean I have to name this??

2010-12-23T14:18:00.003-06:00

I know I've been gone a while, but I've been a busy lady.
Working is taking everything out of me, including my creativity. And I'm tired of whining to you all about how sore and tired I have been. So I've just been keeping quiet.
Peak has come, and we have had a boost in volume at work. It seems that everyone has something to send, and although I would like to complain about how much more work that is, I am just thankful for a job, and I might not have one, if not for the waxing and waning of volume capacities. Blah, blah, blah.
We are gearing up for the upcoming trip to the Caribbean.
Yes, I am going on my first cruise.
And taking my children.
Boo.
It seems that they are supposed to accompany us on this trip, since it is really for my SIL's wedding, and they need to be there.
Whatever.
I am 38, going on my first cruise.
Taking an 11 and a 12 year old.
Yup, still boo.
Meanwhile, they are stoked about all the fun we will have. Of course, we will be having fun on the boat, because we are too broke to do much sight seeing in the beautiful places we plan to visit. But at least we get to get ON the boat.
But then, we have to swim to Puerto Rico, since we really can't affort airline tickets...
Nah. We will be flying. The kids'll be swimming. teehee.
For some reason, we seem to be taking this wonderful vacation about six weeks before we will have our income tax refund, which is no consolation, because we don't expect much this year.
Anyhoo, I'm doing a little Christmas baking. I have been sick for the past few days, so I've been off work. Really bad timing, considering peak, but you should have heard me cough. I have been toning my stomach muscles using the power of this cough. Now Hailey has it. Poor baby! Hopefully, she won't run a fever like I did.
Guess I should go put together the chocolate chip banana bread. Gotta make up for the peanut butter cookies I burned. At least they had peanut butter in them.

...but I play one on TV

2010-12-08T05:08:00.002-06:00

When I was growing up, we used to sing a song about being a sermon in shoes.
"Do you know, oh Christian, you're a sermon in shoes?
Do you know, oh, Christian, you're a sermon in shoes?
Jesus counts upon you to spread the gospel news, so
Teach it and preach it, a sermon in shoes."
Then we added the phrases "know it and show it," "live it and give it," and a few other rhyming additions before we had the big finale, "A SERMON IN SHOOOOOOOOOOEEES!"
Good times.
I may have understood a little what we were singing, but only in a child's way.
Something about being doers and not just hearers of the Word.
Well, time has passed and the song comes to mind occasionally. I was really blessed with my childhood head being filled with scripture songs that God still uses to remind me how to be that sermon in shoes. It's amazing how a God brings them to mind when I need them.
I've learned something about myself on this journey of becoming a working mom.
I'm not the same person I was, some 12 years ago. (Thank God!)
Before, I don't think anyone I worked with knew that I was a Christian. For so long I have subscribed to the "Don't label yourself as a Christian, so you won't have to ~~look bad when you mess up~~ give an account to everyone around." I joke about not putting a fish on my car, because then I'd have to drive like Jesus would.
Now, after being out of the dog-eat-dog, every-man-for-himself world for so long, I have learned to put others' needs ahead of my own. I have learned that the world doesn't revolve around me. It isn't always about me, and we sometimes do what we must. Being thrust back into that place has shown me what a blessing it has been to be shielded from it long enough to grow up and develop some empathy and integrity.
The job I do affords me time to think and pray, sometimes out loud, for the things and people on my mind. I get to sing to myself and talk to God about anything and everything.
Hopefully, I am learning to not just call myself a Christian, but actually act like one, too.

When good cleaners go bad

2010-11-07T19:30:00.003-06:00

My mom flips houses. You know, buys foreclosed rejects, fixes them up and
POOF
sells them for a profit. So whenever she has a house that needs fixing, I usually jump in and help out. It gives me a little extra income and helps her get finished more quickly.
Win-win.
So yesterday, when I was there painting cabinet door faces, I realized a few of them were pretty dirty. The kitchen and bathroom sinks are currently disconnected, and the only water source is the outside hose. I had Hailey bring me a wet rag and the bottle of pine-sol. Pouring a bit of pine-sol on the rag as needed, I scrubbed the doors, then painted them. It wasn't until about an hour later that I realized something was wrong. I turned to look at Hailey and the room swam. Determined to finish, I quickly swiped paint on the remaining drawer faces and stood to clean up. I could barely walk! I didn't even TRY to clean my paint brush. Signing out, the list was blurry. I got in my car, thinking that if I could just get home, I could go to bed. Nothing doing. I was violently nauseated. I drove about three blocks before I pulled over and called for back-up. After being rescued by family, and resting the remainder of the evening, I looked online for some answers. Apparently, there are people who sniff pine-sol ON PURPOSE! Sheesh! But dizziness is a common side effect of breathing the fumes. I guess painting and cleaning in a closed room was a bad idea.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program

2010-10-26T12:15:00.003-05:00

Last night was my first night back at work, after a six week medical leave of absence.
I have to say, it was a little surreal. Everyone was surprised to see me, although no one seemed happy I was back. It was just matter of fact. She's back. Moving on.
My manager was out, but I was able to get into the facility, so she (or someone) must have put me in the system. Hopefully the fact that I couldn't clock in or out won't be a problem.
Thankfully, my doctor limited me to two hours of standing/walking at a time, so I was only there for a little while. After the first hour my foot felt like a hot branding iron was being applied directly to the bottom of it. The second hour was spent carefully watching the clock.

Meanwhile, I got my brochures and business cards from the printer, so I will be sending out tons of them tomorrow. I'm working on building a website now. Hopefully, I'll start to see some business soon.

My New Obsession

2010-10-06T10:38:00.004-05:00

If you know me at all, you know that when I get started on something, I slightly obsess about it.

It doesn't really matter what it is, and when I get tired of it, I put it away.

Sometimes I pick it back up.

Like this one.

In my time of recovery from my injury, I have spent some time reevaluating my destiny in life. :-) At this time, I am enjoying being home with Caleb while Hailey is away at school. And I'm playing with my facepaints.

I found a cool face painting forum online, joined, and have been reading up on technique, style, and information.

I rented a booth at the local flea market and set up to paint faces there. In spite of the weather being absolutely perfect, I did less-than-impressive business. Apparently, people going to the flea market are looking to buy stuff, not get their faces painted. My bad. So I will be keeping my ear to the ground about local fairs and events, hoping to get some real painting done. Meanwhile we also used the booth to sell some stuff lying around here, and made more with that than my painting. HA!

I made up some business cards and brochures, which a fabulously talented printer I know is printing for me. :-)

I had some brilliant ideas about where I will take them once I have them: some places where kids hang out, and parents are looking to spend money on them. I don't mind taking their money! ;-D

The Tangled Web I DIDN'T Weave

2010-09-22T13:03:00.004-05:00

This whole situation has become a stupid, confusing mess.
You know that moment when you realize that a small decision could have made things SO much easier, but you made the decision you made, and you can't go back?
Well, this morning I was given the opportunity to go back. I couldn't take it, because I would be lying, if I did.
I got the call from my senior manager, who wanted to let me know that dancing at work means a warning letter. (read-being written up.) Then she asked me if I was sure I hurt myself dancing. I understand that she was trying to be gracious. I get that she was trying to give me an "out." But I apologized for any inconvenience, since the fact that I hurt my foot dancing a little step means that workman's comp will be denying my claim, and now they have to go to the trouble to discipline me. Oh, gosh! Shame on me for having a moment of jubilation and not being willing to lie about it.
Meanwhile, I have been ordered to see a doctor approved by workman's comp, who happens to be out-of-network from my health insurance. The workman's-comp-approved doctor has ordered me to physical therapy, which means if I get the denial from WC while going to PT, I will have to discontinue PT, go see my PCP and get her to re-order it, which will take time, all while I am out of work.
O G! (oh, gee!)
But what am I doing now?
Sitting by the phone, waiting for the WC case worker to call me and tell me what to do.
I think I'll get out my rubber exercise band and do my OWN PT!
Now, who will I charge for it?

The Impatient Patient

2010-09-16T16:13:00.004-05:00

Wah! I am a whiney baby when I'm hurt. I don't like being in pain. I have no idea how my sister copes, having real issues with pain. My own issues are so temporary, compared with hers.
But, there you have it. I am a big, whiney baby.
The good news is that I am surrounded by people who are extremely merciful.

I ended up not getting to go to the orthopedic specialist. Turns out when you hurt yourself at work, it's considered an on-the-job injury. (even if you weren't doing your job when it happened)
Dancing isn't exactly in my job description.
I figured that since I got hurt doing something non-work-related, that it would be wrong to file for workman's compensation. Instead, I got in big, fat trouble for not reporting the injury immediately.
Well, I would be in much more trouble if I didn't have a very understanding manager. (a VUM, if you will) Apparently, it is against company policy to not report an injury. In fact, it's such a no-no that I learned I would be given a warning letter, which would stay in my file for a year, meaning I can't bid on any other jobs for that time. But my VUM appealed to the OSHA director with my reasoning, and it seems that they may decide to give me grace, since I thought I was doing the right thing.
Meanwhile, I was given a list of approved doctors to visit, and saw one of them the next day. She concurred with Dr. Wilcox's diagnosis of a torn plantar fascia, but decided to just give it time to heal. I have to go back in a week and let her re-check. I still have to stay off it; I'm not allowed to drive; I have to ice it for 15 minutes every hour and take the medicine Dr. Wilcox had already prescribed.
But I have to say, I really want to chuck the crutches and just WALK to the bathroom when I need to potty. I am tired of watching TV. I would really love to just read a book, but I can't go to the library. The anti-inflammatory drug I am taking knocks me flat, and gives me a headache.
But I am home. I have seen my kids a lot. I have held my doggies. I have slept during the night. I have had really great friends bring me dinner. I am being well taken care of. I have no reason to complain.

Raining and pouring, etc.

2010-09-12T08:22:00.003-05:00

Several weeks ago, I fell and hyperflexed my knee. It has been a miserable recovery, but I am almost there. Unfortunately, due to some frivolity on my part, I cannot walk, yet again, because I tore the plantar fascia on the bottom of my right foot.

The ER doctor has referred me to an orthopedist and I'll be checking in with him early next week. We shall see. I have no idea how long I'll be out of work, but I am under orders to not bear weight on it, prompting me to hobble around on some very fashionable crutches.

Epic Fail

2010-08-20T05:16:00.003-05:00

I have mentioned before that I don't like people who don't do their job. And particularly, one person in particular gets on my last particular nerve, but I'm REALLY trying to keep a good attitude about it. Last night, (still today to me, because I haven't been to bed yet) she was in rare form. She doesn't do anything and she treats me like I'm an idiot. I have a very strong suspicion that she doesn't like me, which is fine, because the feeling is mutual. But we do have to work together, so I try to be nice.
But God has been on my case about my attitude. I can't do anything about her actions, but I can do something about my REactions. So tonight, whenever I would feel the frustration building, I would sing a song I learned as a child, which is basically Philippians 4:8 put to music:
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
Meanwhile, I am trying to keep my mind stayed on God and how He so richly blessed me all day yesterday.
It started with my manager letting me go home early so I would be well rested for an appointment I had. Then, at this appointment, I took a very tough test and miraculously passed it. I say miraculously, because there's no way I got any of the answers right on purpose. I didn't have time to do the complex math problems, much less decide which multiple choice answer to pick. So, either God directed my hand in the random choices I made, or the correct answer wasn't really the point. They told us to not leave anything blank. I answered everything.
Then I got a message from a friend whose child has outgrown the uniform shirts I needed to buy for Hailey, and wants to bless us with them. Hailey gets some used, but still in good condition uniform shirts for free!
So tonight I was determined to keep my chin up and not let her get to me. I was fine almost all night.
Then IT happened.
Every night we go load a plane near a building with a restroom. Every night, several of us go into this building and use said restroom. Tonight, however, I asked if it was okay for me to go inside and she told me we weren't allowed to go in there. I told her I go in there every night. Apparently, we aren't really supposed to go in, because the pilots don't like to share their nice building with hourlies. So I can't go use the restroom.
She says, "You should have gone before you came out to the plane."
I say, "I didn't want to leave the slide, when I always use the bathroom out here."
She says, "Well, you can't go in there anymore."
So I say, "Well, then, you'll have to take me back."
She says, "I can't take you back now. We have to load the plane."
I lost it.
Testimony~gone.
I got off the people mover and shouted that she could have told me that before she drove me all the way out to the plane, stormed off, threw my bag to the ground, and proceded to tell the rest of the crew just what I thought of being treated that way.
After it was all said and done, I had to apologize for over reacting and being childish. Who knows if I will be in trouble for making a fuss, but I did apologize to everyone individually.
But the thing I was most grieved about was that I was trying so hard to be a witness to these people. I had even had the chance to share the gospel with some of them. But I am still a sinner. We all make mistakes. Thankfully, God's mercies are new every morning.
And guess what?
It's morning!

Clean-up on aisle "Whine"

2010-08-14T14:50:00.002-05:00

After a few weeks of back-breaking, sweat-inducing work, I have come to the conclusion...
I'm crazy.
We already knew it, but now it is confirmed.
I thought going to work at night would be a cinch, because I'm a night owl.
Turns out that staying up on facebook and watching the tube until 3 am doesn't exactly condition you for throwing boxes of all sizes and weights for hours on end during the night.
And don't even get me started about the whole heat issue.
There's something to be said for good old fashioned air conditioning.
I said that last night, and Shawn about snorted tea out his nose.
Meanwhile, I had a mini breakdown a couple of nights ago. Years of sleeping for 9-10 hours per night has softened me. No comments.
Now I have to try to function on about 6-7. It ain't working. Meltdowns are inevitable under these circumstances.
I don't eat much, because, when do I eat? I wake up around 2:30. Too late for lunch, and I'm not hungry yet. So I have dinner with the family. Then a snack of cheese and fruit or a lunchable around 2:30 am.
That's it.
So it would be obvious that the weight should just melt right off, wouldn't you think?
Well, you'd be WRONG!
I guess my body is in starvation mode, preserving every drop of precious (note the sarcasm) fat, so I can function during the night.
Whatever.
Meanwhile, back to the breakdown at hand...
I don't know when to do laundry, because I'm basically a walking zombie. I get up, but my brain is not engaging. The laundry is piled up, including the clean laundry, which needs to be folded. The toilet needs scrubbing, I think I could sweep up the hair on my bathroom floor and knit a wig for the dog. (who I accidentally shaved a stripe into the side of... don't ask)
I don't do much around the house anymore. The kids do most of it. It's not fair to them, and they do a kid-level job of it. But I have to be thankful for what I can get these days.
I miss my kids, I miss my bff, who I only have time to text now, I miss my husband, and I miss my dogs.
The end.

Ask, and ye shall receive

2010-08-04T05:11:00.004-05:00

Monday night was hard. So hard, that I had to wonder if I was crazy for taking this job. Frankly, I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. Tuesday I spent the whole day just exhausted, even after a full "night's" sleep. (quotes, because it was daytime. duh.)

I was cranky. I was crabby. I was whiny.

I went to work anyway.

On my way, I prayed for God to make the night a little easier than the night before.
I think I might have actually asked for it to be a LOT easier, but I don't remember.

There was much rambling and whining.

I even posted a note on facebook for my friends to pray.

Then I went in to work.

I couldn't get through security.

Somehow, because of a computer glitch, the security gates thought I wasn't scheduled to work.

I called my manager.
No answer.

I called her cell phone.
Still no answer.

I waited about 15 minutes and tried again.
She answered her cell and told me to sit tight and she'd come get me.

I waited.

In an air conditioned building.

In a chair.

For two hours.

On the clock.

Well, technically, I was only on the clock for an hour and a half of that, but that's not the point.

I asked God for a break. He gave me one that I'd never have thought to ask for.

I cast all my cares upon Him, and he cared FOR me.

Because He loves me.

And that's how He rolls.

Operation kill 'em with kindness

2010-07-23T05:05:00.004-05:00

Romans 12: 17-21
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

So tonight I began the operation. I wasn't really sure how it would be received. I turned my body perpendicular to my conveyor belt, and whenever I had a spare second, I reached over to the belt that runs behind where I stand. The packages come down a circular slide onto the belt, where they do not always land with the labels up. It takes a few seconds for each package to be flipped so the lable can be read and the person working the belt can decide where to push them down the next slide. Sometimes, it gets overwhelming because so many packages come at once and you have to flip, read, compute, and sometimes slide them all at the same time. So I decided to try something. I leaned over and flipped every package I could, whenever I could. This way when they reached Kris*, they were already visible. It cut down on his work considerably.
Then I started talking to Chelsea (amazing, tiny, machine girl) about how when she's out tomorrow and all next week, that Kris* and I will have to try to keep up with her job, and how I wasn't sure we were up to the challenge. I made sure to say it cheerfully, including Kris* in the comment, so he'd know I was counting on him. Then I turned on the charm. Whenever we had a quick second, I started talking to him. I asked him if he had another job, how long he'd been there, did he have kids, what was his favorite part of the job, commented that he didn't say much... Just small talk, really. And guess what!?!
Go ahead, guess.
He's been there for 23 years, he has done quite a few things out there, he doesn't have another job, working the one he has is enough BS for him to take, he sleeps in his other time, he doesn't have any kids, his favorite part of the job is the paycheck, and before the night was over he was helping me and Chelsea pick up packages that had been stacked in the walkway when the belts and slides were overloaded!
Now I have someone else to work on. Somehow I don't think charm will work with this one...

Zero

2010-07-22T05:16:00.003-05:00

Apparently I have no tolerance for people who don't do their job.

Pay no attention to this plank in my eye, or the laundry needing done, or the dishes piled up....

Shut up, conscience!

As I was saying, people who stand around, looking very busy, while the rest of us bust our whatchamacallits, really, REALLY annoy me.

Don't worry, I'll tell you how I really feel.

I mean, seriously... There's a young lady who works on the same conveyor belt where I work. She runs all over the place zipping packages down the slide to their appropriate places. She runs up and down the belt, sliding packages hither and yon. She's amazing. She's tiny. She's a machine.

The guy who stands behind her, facing the opposite belt NEVER moves from the place he stands. He NEVER offers a hand when she is lifting an obviously heavy or cumbersome package.

I asked the young woman tonight if there was something wrong with Kris* (no offense, Chris, I pulled this name out of the sky). She tells me that he is kinda weird. He does the same thing every night. He comes in, he works until 2:30 and then leaves. No one questions him. Oh, and his daddy is Phred Smyth's* personal pilot.

Oh, now I get it.

So from now on, I am going to try to engage this man. I am going to give him EVERY opportunity to help out when I am in need of assistance.

It's how I roll.

Meanwhile, we have a certain lady on our team who is very similar, in that she does NO work. I find this absolutely unacceptable. But I don't know what I can possibly do about it. Tonight I tried to give her the opportunity to lift a finger and she told me that I was doing fine.

Whatever. I'm gonna pray for her.

And for me.

That I don't push the wrong person and end up in trouble. ;-)

*Spellings of actual names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
And also, so that a google search doesn't end me up in trouble with the big guy.

Who needs Jillian?

2010-07-16T05:27:00.004-05:00

I'm serious when I say that FedEx kicks tail.

My tail.

And my feet, arms, hands, back...

*whine, whine, whine....*

You get the idea.

Let the beatings commense.

Move over Brad, Denzel, and Johnny Depp!

2010-07-09T17:09:00.004-05:00

You have nothing on this sexiest man alive!

Yesterday afternoon, as I was walking down the hall to put away the freshly folded laundry, I heard curious sounds coming from my bedroom.

I opened the door, and there HE was...

Shirtless....

Vacuuming the floor of the room he had cleaned...

Without even being asked.

"What can I do for YOU?"

Mmmm, Mmmm, MMMM!

Now, THAT'S sexy!

Beginning again

2010-07-04T10:26:00.002-05:00

Back in 1993, you know, when I was 12, I first started working for FedEx as a handler. It was brutal work. I started in the very toughest place of all: the input. This is where packages are removed from the containers and placed on conveyor belts where they are whisked away to primary sort. I didn't stay in that area any longer than necessary, as I learned pretty quickly that you can bid on other jobs, which are less.... vigorous. I worked all over the place in the five years I was there: inside, outside, in the dangerous goods area, outbound, high security, whatever... I went to as many training classes as I could get my various managers to approve, gaining knowledge and certification to do pretty much everything there is to do in the entire operation, except a few things. I was even in management training.

Then I had a baby.

Twelve years and another child later, I am starting all over.

I can't even begin to tell you how terrifying it is this time. For one thing, I'm MUCH older this time. For another thing, I'm not in the shape I was in when I was, ahem, twelve. My knees, feet, and back are telling me stories now. When I try to go to bed, they have to let me know just how much they protest this thing that I am doing to them.

Thankfully, and I DO mean that I have spent the past few days thanking God, I was not placed in an input. I managed to score an outbound manager who has several flights. She graciously put me in a place of minimal brutality, and I am ever so grateful. It's still hard work, but I know just how much harder it could be, so I have been very thankful.

Technology has changed, but the basic operation is the same. Packages come in; they are sorted; they go back out.

Meanwhile, I'm getting a good workout in, drinking plenty of water, trying to figure out what to eat and when, so as not to end up with the monster headache I had after the first night. The kids are learning to cope for a while without me in the morning, and Hailey has really bent over backward to be kind and gentle to me.

Let Me Hold You Longer

2010-06-27T13:08:00.003-05:00

It's a weekend of lasts for me here.
I am so excited to be going back to work for a company that has so much to offer. I am eagerly anticipating getting back in the swing of things I already know how to do. I am looking forward to re-training and getting recertified for the many things I did when working there before.
But, lest it seem like I am simply bursting with glee at the changes heading my way, let me tell you. I am filled with trepidation and fear.
I will be leaving my family every day to go do something they do not participate in. I will be entering a world they have never seen and begin to speak of things they know not about.
I will need to organize and plan, which has never come easy for me. I will have to rely on my husband and children in a way I never have. I will be tired and sore and cranky. But I will get stronger. I will probably lose a little weight, even. I will work hard and feel a sense of accomplishment.
Meanwhile, I'm going to go lie down with my son for a few minutes on this last weekend I have before becoming a working mom.
And I will try very hard not to cry.

These boots are made for...

2010-06-24T10:42:00.003-05:00

When you start at FedEx, you never know where you will end up. The whole operation is massive, and the hub is acres upon acres.
The job may take you inside, where you move packages, or it may take you outside, where you move containers of packages.
And if you get lucky, you may get to do both.
But whatever the case, the safety shoes you are required to wear will need to last you for a while. It is wise to choose well. I chose a pair of waterproof ones.
Another of my fellow hirees was looking around at the selection, and in my desire to help a girl out, since I've been here before, I suggested to her that she select waterproof shoes, as well.
"What for?"
"Just in case they get wet."
"Well, I ain't working outside!"
I just looked at her in amazement. There is no way she knows where she's going.
I told her she will be outside if they assign her to an outside position.
I don't see her making it.

She works hard for the money

2010-06-23T13:51:00.003-05:00

So, anyway....

I found the number after rummaging through the caller ID and dialed it. The nice lady on the other end transferred me to the lady who manages the night shift applications.

And you know what? She was nice, too. She told me that the hiring session for that week was full, but to call her on Wednesday this week and she'd get me into Friday's session.

But then Monday, while I was minding my own business, floating around in the pool by myself while everyone I know and love is at camp, the cell phone rang.

"Mrs. Thomas, this is (insert name here) from FedEx. I was calling about your application and wondered if you were still interested in working for us."

"Absolutely! Can I start tomorrow?"

"Well, almost. Come in Wednesday morning for a hiring session. Bring two forms of ID and...."

So as of this morning, I am gainfully employed by the great company known as FedEx.

Yippee!!!

Patience, the missing virtue

2010-06-17T15:27:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know that you already know it. I am NOT a patient person.

But when the lady from FedEx tells me she will call, I expect a call. I wait around by the phone, like a girl waiting for a boy to call.

The phone does not ring.

Ring, phone. Ring.

*silence*

I flip through the caller ID, looking for the number.

I find it.

Would it be right to call?

I could just act like I missed a call...
But that wouldn't be honest.

Honesty is the best policy.

I know patience is a virtue. I know.

Shut up.

So I ask my BFF if calling might be running ahead of God.

She thinks so.

I ask my pastor's wife if it would be running ahead of God.

She thinks it's a great idea actually.

I ask my husband if he thinks it would be running ahead of God.

He finally caves and says to call on Friday, if they don't call Thursday.

But then he warns me that I might not like what I get if I make that call.

So still I fret. Still I pray that God would help me not run ahead of Him.

Then I ask a good friend who works within the company. (no, I don't think she is going to do anything to help. She works in a totally different division. I just need her perspective, as one who works for this giant mega-machine)

She says that showing initiative in this job market is actually a good idea, and suggests I call.

So I do.

(to be continued...)

What to do?

2010-06-09T18:17:00.004-05:00

What a week! Last Thursday I got the call back from FedEx I was waiting for, but I got it while I was typing a letter to my sister's boss, who wanted me to apply for a full time job. I was telling her I was interested in hearing more, and the phone rang. It was (what'shername) from FedEx, calling to see if I was available to come the next morning for a hiring session. This is code for an interview and lift test, I think...

I spun a little out of control. I freaked. What was God trying to say to me?! Which job should I take? Going to work full time meant days and a cushy office job. FedEx meant nights and hard manual labor. Full time meant putting Caleb in school with Hailey, and not being a stay at home mom anymore. FedEx meant getting to keep Caleb home for another year and still staying home with him. Full time meant getting to go to bed with my husband, who says he doesn't sleep well without me, and being a slave to an alarm clock. FedEx meant getting to sleep until I wake up, and indulging my not-a-morning-person self. Full time meant going into an unfamiliar line of work and learning a whole new thing. FedEx meant going to familiar surroundings and doing a job I can do well and already know how to do, and feel confident in my ability to shine.

There were so many pros and cons to each possibility, that my head was spinning.

I couldn't go in to FedEx on Friday morning, as I had another commitment, so I asked if I could come next week. The nice lady said she'd call me back next week and set it up. This bought me a little time. Then on Friday morning I went in to the full time job office and filled out an application, submitted my resume, had a brief interview with the office manager, and retrieved my niece from the boss (my Friday commitment). The office manager was very nice, and informed me the position she would have available soon would be temporary, and mentioned that she knew I had heard from FedEx. I told her I was just checking my options.

Then I went home and prayed and thought some more.

That afternoon, as I was making a pros and cons chart (because the choices were that close), the office manager called and told me that she wouldn't need me until the end of July, and she hated for me to pass up working a permanent job.

So now I wait for the nice Ms. What'shername to call me back. I'm assuming she will call me tomorrow, since they do certain steps on certain days, but I really have no way of knowing.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get my house in order and finish a few projects I have going on around here, because when I do get that call, I want to be ready.

Cuz they are going to KICK. MY. TAIL.

And I will be dawg tired.

Craziness

2010-05-17T19:55:00.004-05:00

I told you I wouldn't leave you hanging.
I lied.
Mostly because I was hanging the whole time with you.
You didn't think I'd leave you out there alone, did you?!?!

So, I didn't get what I wanted. (exactly)
I might get part of it, but it's okay, I guess.
Meanwhile, since I wasn't getting any word about my wish, I decided to start looking around for something different.

In case you haven't figured out what I mean, I'm talking about a job.

A very good friend of mine had a baby recently, and a little birdie suggested that I might enjoy keeping said baby when said friend returned to work. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea, and the more I liked the idea, the more I LOVED the idea. And the more I LOVED the idea, the more I OBSESSED about the idea.

You get the, er, idea....

Anyhoo, I mentioned the idea to my friend, and got a pretty strong glimmer of hope that it might happen, but alas. It is not to be. Actually, I may be keeping the baby one evening a week for about an hour and a half, but I'm not sure.

Meanwhile, I finished getting the budget in order, and surprise, surprise, surprise! (insert Gomer Pyle voice...) The budget looks impossible. I really believe that God wants me to put Hailey in school this fall, so we had to consider other options. Shawn works full time and also goes to school full time, so he cannot get a second job. Which leaves me...
I have been technically unemployed for the past six years, which is hogwash, of course, and I never finished college, so I don't have much in the way of marketable skills.
But I used to work for FedEx, and left with a very good work record, so I went this morning and applied to go back.
The application process went well, and they told me they are hiring aggressively, so I could be at work in less than a month.

As my other friend says...

Craziness!!!

Praising in the storm

2010-05-08T14:33:00.003-05:00

Overload

2010-05-07T15:15:00.004-05:00

...is pretty much what I feel today. My town has experienced a devastating flood. The reports said something about 10-12 inches of rain in just a matter of hours.
On Saturday, May 1st, I got a message on facebook to come to the church because it had been flooded. They were calling for volunteers to come help clean it up. By the time we got it mostly clean, and they told us that the insurance company had professional help on the way, I decided we ought to go check my in-laws empty rental, just in case. I wasn't surprised to find water in it. Shawn stayed there while I went to pick up his mother, who is in town supervising the repairs from the damage done by the broken water pipe. On the way to get her, I got my first look at the water level. Already a trailer park and the funeral home and everything in between was neck-deep in water. People were being rescued by boat.
And that was BEFORE the levee broke.
And BEFORE the Loosahatchie River overflowed its banks.
And BEFORE the water crested.

Thankfully, the only room that got wet in my MIL's house has a tile floor and the water was easily removed.

The rest of the town wasn't so lucky. The military housing was evacuated.
The trailer park was evacuated.
Several whole neighborhoods were evacuated.

Houses were destroyed.
Things were destroyed.
Possessions were ruined and lost.
People were in shock.

But not one life in Millington was lost.
I can't even say that without crying.

My church opened its doors to the Red Cross and became a shelter. The staff and the membership began pouring out love for our town. Other churches, restaurants, and businesses stepped up. The donations came flooding in, and I don't use that word lightly. There were mountains of clothes, shoes, household items, personal items, cleaning supplies, and everything and anything you can imagine.

And then there was the organizing. This is NOT my strong suit. I am a worker bee. A very good worker bee, but not an organizer. Organizers just amaze me. There were SO many ladies and children everywhere sorting, folding, organizing all the donations, organizing the people and what their needs were, then helping those people by filling orders for all the things they needed.

The whole operation was organized chaos, at best, but the love was overwhelmingly evident.

It isn't over, as the cleaning teams are still out there helping clean out the mess, which could take months, and people are still without homes, but the crisis has been met with confidence and God's love.

One of the flood victims who sings in my choir gave a very moving testimony which I will never forget, and I still hear that little song in my mind...

"This little light of mine...
I'm gonna let it shine...."

Warning! Danger Will Robinson!

2010-04-20T18:06:00.003-05:00

You know when you want something really badly, but you are afraid to say anything, because you don't want to ruin your chances of getting what you want?
Well, I want something.
I want it really badly.
It's all my sister's fault.
She is so bossy.
(or it might be that she knows me so well, that she knows when a suggestion at just the right moment will encourage me to do something I might not have considered before, but whatever. She's still bossy, and it stinks that whenever she suggests something, I usually end up doing it. Like homeschooling. And stopping homeschooling.)
Meanwhile, this perfectly planted suggestion is growing like a raging fire in my heart, and I need to stop obsessing, or I'm going to make somebody an offer they can't refuse, and it will be a burden on me sooner, rather than later, and I will resent it.
Whew!
Just needed to vent.
Hopefully, I won't leave you hanging forever on this one.

2010-04-06T13:56:00.003-05:00

Testing, testing...
This short post brought to you by the amazing technology of SMS...
carry on.

(non) chocolate covered

2010-04-06T12:27:00.005-05:00

I don't have much to say these days. I admit that I have been cheating shamelessly on Blogger, with the suave, debonair Facebook.
How can I resist such appeal of posting in short, choppy, third-person-sentences, from the comfort of my cell phone.
I suppose I could splurge and add internet access to my cell phone package, but where would that leave my darling facebook?
Meanwhile, Caleb offered me something today that reminded me of this joke:

A pastor goes to the hospital to visit one of his church members.
As he is sitting there, he spies a bowl of peanuts, and helps himself.

After he leaves, the patient scowls to his wife,
"You know how long it took me to suck the chocolate off of those?"

So, thanks for the offer, but I'll pass on the pile of almonds you have extracted from the almond kisses, but thanks.

Overwhelmed

2010-03-27T15:11:00.003-05:00

Last night we had our Easter program at church. We always do a pretty big presentation with a musical play. This year was no different.
I was telling the kids today, over lunch, that I can't really watch it while it's happening, because I might just bust out bawling. The whole story is overwhelming to me.
In our world of instant entertainment, our kids have a hard time grasping the reality of what they are seeing.
Sure, that's just a man playing the part of Jesus.
Sure, that's just fake blood on his body, and they are not really nailing Kevin to that cross.
But the reality is that the REAL Jesus was beaten so bloody that he wasn't even recognizable.
The reality is that they pierced His holy hands with spikes, and nailed His torn body to a cross, where He had the humiliation of hanging for all to see.
But the part that overwhelms me, is that when He took upon Himself my own sin, which made Him unpleasing to His Father, God forsook His own Son.
For me.
For you.
God laid on Him the iniquity of us all, so that by His stripes, we would be healed.

There is a penalty for sin. God says that penalty is death.
Eternal death.
But I don't have to pay for my sin, because Jesus did it for me.
How is it possible to feel so overwhelmingly unworthy, and so very thankful, at the same time?
I don't know.
But I do.
Do you?

Does This Jet Pack Make My Butt Look Big?

2010-03-21T13:22:00.005-05:00

So I heard on the radio the other day that we have finally caught up with the Jetsons. Apparently, a jet pack has been invented for the masses.

I'm assuming that you will have to sign a legal waiver along the lines of, "I __________, being of sound mind and body, (for the moment) do hereby release __________ from any and all legal responsibility concerning the stupidity that shall herewith commence, as I strap my body to an explosive, highly flammable device, and attempt to break free of the gravitational force which God hath so graciously bestowed upon our planet, although, if the force could be released, ever so slightly, I would not weigh as much as I currently weigh...(wait, that's another agreement.) ...I won't sue if I run out of gas, hit a bird, get a bug in my eye, collide with a jet-liner, or choke on a cloud."

I was telling Shawn about it, and mentioning that, if money were no object...

Don't you love sentences like that?

If money was no object...

If I had all the money in the world...

I would pay off all my bills, fund a cure for cancer and stupidity, and buy my husband a jet pack.

So then we started talking about the beauty of owning this wave of the future.

He could leave for work and get there in 15 minutes, instead of an hour.

He wouldn't need much of a parking space.

It would get great mileage.

Or would it?

Just what is the weight limit on this thing, anyway?

Look What I'm Learning To Do!

2010-03-18T14:08:00.002-05:00

Not Me! Monday (ladies only!)

2010-03-15T10:32:00.005-05:00

It has been awhile since I did a Not Me! Monday. Mostly because I always do everything as planned, and never do anything embarrassing.

Riiiight!

Anyhow, Not Me! Monday is the genius brain-child of MckMama, and is a great way of telling others about our imperfections and foibles.

So here goes:

This week, I was not having so much pain in my feet that I poured paraffin wax in zip lock bags to put my feet inside. And when my feet were NOT in the bags of hot wax and I was NOT lying back in the dark, on the recliner, I did not hike my right leg into the air to squeeze the bag around my foot to distribute the remaining melted wax.

Ladies do not "hike" their legs up into the air, and I am a lady.

And certainly, while said leg was NOT hiked in the air while I did NOT squeeze the bag of hot wax, the still-melted wax did NOT run out the bag, down my inner left thigh, and onto the seat of the recliner.

And while the hot wax was NOT running down my left thigh and onto the seat of the recliner toward my, uh, er, um, "place," I did NOT start scooting up the back of the recliner, but not quickly enough. And I did NOT! sit there while the remaining still warm wax came to rest against me, and with my eyebrows raised, say, "Huh!"

Life Triumphs Over Death

2010-03-12T09:26:00.003-06:00

I live in the forest.

I am surrounded by life.

Trees, flowers, birds, squirrels, deer, racoons, possums, skunks, foxes, coyotes, snakes, fish, leaves, and vines are seen regularly in my neighborhood.

By this time of year, the whole outdoors has begun to look brown. Just brown. Leaves, fallen after the last pick-up of the season, litter the ground, the vibrant colors a distant memory. They are brown. They are dead.

But new life awaits.

Green and yellow happiness has arrived.

Life has triumphed over death.

She Hangs Her Undies Out To Dry

2010-03-08T14:04:00.004-06:00

If the pain radiating from my foot, from whence my husband dug out a splinter is any indication, we might be in for some warmer weather soon.
I actually did a little sunbathing today. (you know, in between school lessons and hanging laundry out on the line.)

Speaking of laundry, I'm pretty particular about what I hang. I love the smell of freshly washed sheets on my bed, especially if they smell like trapped sunshine. I like to hang towels out to dry, because they smell so clean after my shower, but I'm not crazy about the stiffness. I hang them anyway. I don't usually hang jeans, because when they come off, they look like they can stand on their own, and that scares me. Every once in a while I hang out a load of colors.

But I never,

NEVER

hang out underwear.

There are just some things folks don't need to see.

But today I made an exception. Today I hung the undies out to dry.

(I hung them on the side of the line away from the neighbor's house, where they won't be seen, though!)

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-03T11:08:00.002-06:00

Hailey on the Tomorrowland Speedway ride in 2005

Hailey on the Tomorrowland Speedway ride in 2010

Rambling Rosie

2010-03-02T13:17:00.007-06:00

We're back from the land down under. No, we didn't go to Australia. Florida is technically under us. But, now that you mention it, we did go to Japan... I came to a conclusion while we were there.

I love camping.

I love it.

I love taking the camper out and making the beds, putting out my pink flamingo decorations and lights, and playing house in the great outdoors.

I love Disney World.

I love it.

I love seeing the characters and sharing things with my kids that were part of my own childhood, and meant something to me, growing up.

But I don't love the camping-Disney World combination.

Camping is work.

Disney World is work.

There is no down time when you do both together.

I think it would have been better if we had a couple of extra days to just enjoy the campground sometime during the week, instead of running and running, just stopping long enough to sleep, but not sleeping long enough.

Each park really needs at least two days to explore properly. Hailey wanted to wait in lines and get autographs, but I didn't let her stand in all those lines. There just wasn't time. Thankfully, she got all the princess autographs at her Cinderella breakfast. Otherwise, we'd still be in line.

We did ride most of the rides we wanted to ride, and the lines were not bad at all. In fact, we only needed fast-passes for one ride, which we ended up not riding. We had no wait at all for the Tower of Terror. Which, come to think of it, should have told me that I wouldn't like it. I have an extreme fear of heights. I don't like ladders, ledges, or even standing on chairs. Now I know why. I really, REALLY hate the sensation of falling. The first time we rode the Tower, I didn't make a peep. I was too scared to scream. I used every ounce of my strength to hold on to the handles beside my chair, to keep my behind in my seat. Yes, there was a seatbelt, but I wasn't taking any chances.

If you noticed, I said, "the first time."

We rode it twice.

Why? you ask. Good question. I don't even know.

Bethany asked if we wanted to go again. I said I didn't know. Hailey wanted to go again, so I asked Chris if she was going again. She said, "Sure, why not?"

Why not?

WHY NOT???

Because I need my heart to slide back down from my throat to my chest!

And I need clean pants!

But it's all good. I'm just glad we got to see a few of the shows while we were there. Finding Nemo and The Beauty and the Beast were exceptional. The 3D shows we saw were fun, and Shawn got to be "That Guy" in the Monster's Inc. Laugh Floor show.

They gave Shawn and me each a pin that said Happy Anniversary on it, so everywhere we went, people wished us Happy Anniversary.

Caleb got to go through Jedi training and now has his padawan certification.

Bethany and I got our faces painted.
Hailey and I had breakfast in Cinderella's castle.

We learned what pin trading was all about, and spent WAY too much money on pins to trade. (whoever thought up that idea was a genius!) Pin trading brought my son closer to his Auntie Chris, which brought joy to my heart and tears to my eyes.

The campground was really nice, with the exception of how close each campsite was to the next. There was really no privacy, which wouldn't work for regular camping. Disney World camping was fine, since we didn't spend much time at the campground. and neither did the other campers. The pool was fabulous, complete with a gigantic water slide. The kids loved it. We even roasted marsmallows one night at the outdoor theater, where Highschool Musical 3 was playing.

About That Cliffhanger

2010-02-17T14:40:00.005-06:00

I know I left you hanging, and I didn't mean to. I just didn't know the answer to my dilemma until today.

I have been homeschooling for some time now. In fact, this is our fifth year. I have loved it. I have enjoyed it. I have hated it. I have groaned some mornings when the sun rose. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions sometimes.

But there was one thing I was always sure of until now. This was what God wanted me to do. This year I have been struggling with a certain young lady, who shall remain nameless. She has whined, complained, thrown tantrums, begged, pleaded, etc. to get out of doing school. I am worn down by the battle. And since I am easily swayed by all such methods, this year has been very difficult.

But all that changed with a single text. Someone in my sister's office quit. Someone who did a job that I knew I could do. So I hit my knees and sent out prayer requests to my friends, asking God what to do. If it was time to send the kids to private school, I needed a job that would pay for it. I have been a stay-at-home-mom since Hailey was a tiny baby. I don't have many marketable skills. Besides, I didn't want to leave my cushy life as a kept woman. But I needed to do what God wanted me to do, so I prayed and dove into the Word, looking for an answer.

I got one.

It wasn't the one I expected, but since it's even better, I'm okay with that.

Shawn got two job offers in one week. He wasn't even seeking employment from these companies, but they came looking for him. The first offer was good, but the second offer was too good to pass up. He accepted it and will start in a few weeks.

It will pay for Hailey's tuition and I will stay home, continuing to homeschool Caleb.

Isn't God good?!?!

**Lest anyone think I'm banishing my daughter, I think she will flourish in school. She needs interaction with other kids more than she has in the past, and she filters her attitude better with other teachers. I wish she would with me, but I know she will do fabulously.

Meanwhile, Caleb needs to work on building a few good character qualities before I subject a teacher to him. I'm hoping a little one on one will help him learn a little tenderness and compassion, as well as respect for his elders.

Wordless Wednesday: the only way I can enjoy fat free milk

2010-02-10T10:51:00.002-06:00

In Which We Screw the Customer and Treat Them Like They Are Stupid

2010-02-08T18:14:00.005-06:00

I know everyone is cutting back.

I understand stretching things to make ends meet.

I know times are hard.

But please, oh, please do NOT add water to the syrup in a RESTAURANT!

We went to IHOP for breakfast on our lovely snow day. We ordered pancakes. (cuz that's what you do there. It's International House of Pancakes, you know)
I asked for the syrup to be passed. The little air bubble jiggled around much too freely. When I told the waitress that it was watered down, she frowned and said, "Not again!"

So I decided to speak to the manager about it. That guy must've thought I was a complete idiot, because he told me the bottles must get water in them when they are washed. I just looked at him with the most serious look and agreed. I'm sure he thinks he fooled me, but the joke is on him. This is a video of the blueberry and butter pecan syrups. The waitress took the old fashioned away.
This is the IHOP in Millington, TN, in case you didn't know.

If the embedded video won't play, you can see it on youtube here.

WHERE'S that Easy Button?

2010-02-02T00:00:00.003-06:00

Wouldn't it be just dandy if there was an easy answer to all of life's big questions: if there were verses in the Bible that clearly stated what to do...

Thou shalt have dinner at Chili's tonight, and order the sirloin cooked medium rare with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy (light on the pepper) and corn on the cob.

Thou shalt not forget to charge thy Zune before you go work out today.

Thou shalt....

Thou shalt not...

How easy our lives would be then.

But alas, this is not always the case. Sometimes decisions come our way which have no perfect answer. Some of these decisions are even fraught with hefty costs and benefits, neither outweighing the other.

I got some news today that I have secretly wanted to hear, but been afraid that if I heard it that I'd be forced to make a decision that would certainly mean upheaval of my life as I know it. And the lives of my children. My husband's life would be changed little, except in the fact that his whole family had been upended.

It would have been great if I'd heard a "Thou shalt" or "Thou shalt not" from him, too, but he's just being supportive of me while I wait for details. Such a slacker.

Meanwhile, I had to leave home today, thinking about this decision, praying about this decision, and forgot my phone.

No worries. I figured, I'd get on the treadmill, plug my ears with headphones, crank up the tunes and worship.

D-E-A-D, dead Zune.

Okay, God! I get it. Be still and know...

Here am I Lord. Speak.

How did we get here?

2010-02-01T09:45:00.003-06:00

I have tried different things over the years, but we are heading into scary territory these days. We have come to a point where the child thinks she has the right to speak disrepectfully to her Daddy and me. She has taken to telling me absurd things like, "You just don't even care!" and, "You don't love me!"
At my wit's end, I mentioned it to my sister.
She is the queen of inventive solutions to correcting kids.
Her suggestion was brilliant. (of course)
Every day (or other day, or week, or whatever time frame works) assign her to write down ways that I have shown love and caring.
And while she was at it, I was to do the same thing.
I'm looking forward to sharing our lists later today.

This morning, after a moment of disrespect, I asked, "Would you speak to your Sunday School teacher that way?"
"No ma'am."
"Would you speak to Pastor David that way?"
"No ma'am."
"Would you speak to [the next door neighbor, your swim coach, your Aunt Chris, a complete stranger...] that way?"
"No ma'am."
"Then you may not speak to me that way."

I've made her repeat what she says to me over and over this morning, until she can say what she wants to say with the proper tone and inflection.
I will not accept this:
"No MA'AM!!!!" (sass)
"No ma'am." (sullen)
"NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS EVEN DOING! I WAS JUST TRYING TO ...." (you get the point, I'm sure.)

Oh, I can hardly WAIT until she is an actual teen ager.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

2010-01-28T11:01:00.002-06:00

I found this on a blog I read. It was so good, I had to repost it here.

Bath Note (author unknown, but admired)

Don’t be alarmed, the world isn’t coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath. It will take about thirty minutes and will involve soap and water. Yes, I know how to swim. Even if I didn’t, forcing myself to drown in a half-inch of lukewarm water is more work than I’ve got energy for. (Which reminds me, I’m all for science projects, but the next time you want to see if Play-Doh floats, use cold water.)

Don’t panic if I’m not out right on time. I’ve heard that people don’t dissolve in water and I’d like to test the theory. While I’m in the tub, I’d like you to remember a few things. The large slab of wood between us is called a door. Do not bang to hear my voice. I promise that even though you can’t see me, I *am* on the other side. I’m not digging an escape tunnel and running for the border,no matter what I said a while ago. I didn’t mean it. Honest. There will be plenty of time later to tell me about your day.

“Later” means at a time when I am no longer naked, wet, and contemplating bubble gum in the blow dryer. I know you have important things to tell me. Please let one of them be that you have invented a new way to blow bubbles, not a new way to add gum to your hair.

Believe it or not, shouting, “TELEPHONE!” through the closed bathroom door will *not* make the phone stop ringing. Answer it and take a message. Since Amazing Mind-Reading Mom has the day off, you’ll need to write that message down. Use paper and a pencil. Do not use your brother and the laundry marker. We can’t send him to school with telephone number tattoos.

Water makes me wet, not deaf. I can still tell the difference between the sound of “nothing” and the sound of a child playing the piano with a basketball. I can also hear you tattling at the top of your lungs. I’m *choosing* NOT to answer you.

Don’t call your dad at work and tell him I am unconscious in the bathroom. He didn’t appreciate it last time. He won’t appreciate it more this time. Trust me.

No matter how much I would like it, water does not make me forgetful. I remember who you are and why you are grounded. No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to play. No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to use the bathroom. If someone is in our other bathroom, you will just have to think dry thoughts and wait. Unless you have four feet and a tail, do not think of going outside to “water” the lawn. I know the dog does it. The neighbors don’t feel the need to call me when the dog does it.

Unless the house catches on fire, stay inside and keep the doors locked. Do not go outside and throw rocks at the bathroom window to get my attention. I know it works in the movies. This is reality, the place where people don’t like to sit in a tub while rocks and broken glass rain in on them. Do not set the house on fire. Call me if there is an emergency.

Emergencies ARE:

1. Dad has fallen off the roof.

2. Your brother and/or sister is bleeding.

3. There’s a red fire truck in front of our house.

Emergencies are NOT:

1. Dad has fallen asleep.

2. Someone on TV is bleeding.

3. There’s a red pickup truck in front of our house.

One other thing: Being forced to use the last roll of toilet paper for a towel does not make me happy. It makes me sticky with little white polka dots. In the future, when the tub overflows, use a mop to clean up the water instead of every towel in the house. For my sanity’s sake, let’s pretend it was the tub, Okay? No, I don’t want to hear the real story. Ever. Especially not while I’m standing in the pool of water you missed.

By the way, all Play-Doh experiments are hereby canceled.

Be good. Entertain yourselves. Yes, you can do both at the same time. Try coloring, playing a game, or paying that stack of bills on the coffee table.

I’ll be out soon. Maybe.

Love,

Your Mom

It's In The Wind

2010-01-19T13:21:00.005-06:00

I don't like change.

Let me correct that.

I don't like unexpected change.

I actually DO like change that I have planned. In fact, today's post is all about change.

I have been working on a couple of big projects here in the forest. Shawn and I painted the kitchen cabinets and walls. We had to remove wall paper, but it was worth the work. The only problem now is that I'm not crazy about the color I painted the kitchen. I was trying to reproduce an accidental delight I accomplished in a previous home. No dice. My choices were not close enough to the original to accomplish the same result. And the result I am currently living with happens to be somewhat pink. I don't really like pink all that much.

Before, with handles in the middle of the doors.

After, with the handles moved. Nice, eh?

This past weekend Shawn and I pulled the nasty pink print carpet out of the play room and replaced it with neutral linoleum. We will be laying tile in the kitchen next to it, but the dogs sometimes leave unexpected puddles, and I don't want the floor ruined.

The Big Visit

2009-12-28T22:02:00.003-06:00

Once or twice a year my dad comes to Tennessee to visit my sister and me, and our families. We used to go see him twice a year, as children, but now he comes here.

I remember when we were little, and we knew we were leaving the next day to visit him, that we couldn't sleep because we were so excited.

Well, things haven't changed much over time. Whenever he is coming, we get all excited and the preparations begin.

Projects that we have been putting off seem suddenly imperative to finish. Houses are deep cleaned. Menus are prepared. Itineraries are formed. We don't want to waste a minute of the precious time he is here to visit.

So today, while I was painting the inside of my kitchen cabinet a lovely shade of chocolate, (my imperative project du jour) it suddenly struck me.

What am I doing to prepare for the inevitable coming of Jesus?

Am I like the five brides who trim their lamps and fill them with oil?

Or am I like the other five brides who squander the time away, waiting until the last minute to take care of business, until the bridegroom comes and they aren't ready?

1 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. 2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. 3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: 4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 5 While the bridegroom tarried , they all slumbered and slept . 6 And at midnight there was a cry made , Behold , the bridegroom cometh ; go ye out to meet him. 7 Then all those virgins arose , and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out . 9 But the wise answered , saying , Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell , and buy for yourselves. 10 And while they went to buy , the bridegroom came ; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut . 11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying , Lord, Lord, open to us. 12 But he answered and said , Verily I say unto you, I know you not. 13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh .

Wallpapergate: The Cover-up

2009-12-26T13:29:00.003-06:00

I have a goal in mind, but I don't know how realistic it is. I have already bumped a large part of the plan until after Dad's visit.
I'm getting a new kitchen for Christmas.
Well, I'm not getting new appliances, countertops, a sink, or cabinets, but I am getting a new floor and paint on the walls and existing cabinets. Plus I got new hardware for the cabinets.
I was going to try to have it all finished by next weekend, but I've been working part time with my Mom, who flips houses. I have been painting gallons upon gallons.
Now it's time to tackle my own home.
Yay me!
So I am removing the old wallpaper, which is hideous, of course. When I have it all off, I will paint the cabinets, then the walls. I wanted to have the floor down, but that's a bit ambitious, even for me.

The Impending Doom of Retirement

2009-12-23T15:27:00.003-06:00

You know that grass over there on the other side of the fence?
The pretty, green, plush, wind-blown grass?
It's an OPTICAL ILLUSION!!!!!

I hear it all the time. "My husband just comes home from work and camps out in front of the TV every night and weekend. If only he would get up and help around the house. Why do I have to do everything around here!!!"

Well, as one of those wives whose husband gets off his rear end and helps out, it ain't all it's cracked up to be. Suddenly there's another person under my feet, who actually is doing things. When I ask for something to be done, it actually gets done. Rooms are magically clean without me lifting a finger in them, but then he wants to take a picture of the room and hang it up, so we all have a visual of what we may aspire to, if we so wished. It appears that his college courses in efficiency and process management just may trickle into our home, so I have to think of something clever.

Honey, could you please just run out an pick me up a few things?

Nah, I'm thankful for the help. He's even assisting with the candy making.

And when I came home last night from work, the carport and the shop were neat and tidy.

I can't wait until he's home all the time!

Good times

2009-12-21T20:16:00.002-06:00

Hailey is getting out the ingredients.

Tonight it begins.

The Great Cookie Bake '09.

Actually, there will be cookies and candies, but who's judging? We're making pineapple cookies, sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies (with peanut butter this time), mounds bars, peppermint patties, orange creams, strawberry creams, coconut creams, fudge, peppermint fudge, and gumdrop fudge.

Two of my nieces will be joining the fun in the morning.

Memories will be made.

Sugar comas will be induced.

Bring it on.

The Clever Disguise

2009-12-10T18:54:00.003-06:00

I don't think anyone will ever guess my secret. Of course, now I am revealing it, but if I weren't revealing it, no one would ever guess it, that's for sure!

I'm sure we all have them: those tiny details about ourselves which we hide under clothing, make-up, the cover of night, etc.

No one would ever know by looking at me that I have red blotchy skin, which I cleverly cover with fabulous foundation.

No one would ever know that I am a closet control freak, but I panic under pressure to run the show.

No one would guess that I am feeding my family a vegetable tonight for dinner which is brilliantly masquerading as a pasta.

At least I hope they don't!

Frantic furballs fearlessly face fourteen fuzzy foragers

2009-12-01T14:08:00.004-06:00

As of right now, there are no less than fourteen squirrels creeping about my back lawn, doing whatever it is that squirrels do this time of year.

I have two very indignant Yorkies who feel it is their obligation to run these tiny furry beasts off.

I had to call them in and close the doggie door, so they would stop barking and ruining my relationship with the neighborhood.

This did NOT stop the barking.

Pass the cotton balls, please.

Unexpected blessings

2009-11-30T09:21:00.004-06:00

It was shaping up to be a pretty crappy day, and I was really bummed. Nobody should have a yucky Thanksgiving Day.

Nothing terrible or tragic, mind you, just that dinner was moved to Saturday, and that meant Thursday would just be another day.

So, at the suggestion of my sister, I made a big breakfast, planned to put up the Christmas tree, and then go see a movie in the afternoon. But, then I decided to buy a new tree the next day, so after the decorations came down from the attic, we were left trying to figure out what to do for the next few hours.

Then it happened.

The phone rang.

It was the family we adopted where we used to live. You know, the one two doors down...

"Dinner's at 5. You're coming over, right?"

No expectation to bring anything, although we brought a pie and some drinks...

We went after the movie.

I can't ever remember a family gathering that I enjoyed more. Sitting around, laughing together, talking, taking pictures, laughing some more, seeing my husband fit in like one of the kids, just having a good time...

I'm so thankful!

Life lessons

2009-11-12T17:32:00.004-06:00

From the gas station:

The sign says NO SMOKING! We can see and smell the smoke wafting from your palm where you nestle a cigarette inside your curled fingers. And we DON'T WANT TO DIE IN A GASOLINE FIRE because you refused to obey the rules.

If you had to wait in line before you even got to the pump, and the line continues to pile up behind you, HANG UP YOUR PHONE WHEN YOU ACTUALLY GET TO THE PUMP. We don't really want to continue waiting in line for you to even BEGIN to pump gas!

From the lawn mower:

Sometimes God does something to get your attention just to say, "You don't belong here! Go someplace else!" It would be wise to listen. And during the instructions, if the message comes in the form of a rock hurled at your leg at mach 1, don't scream. Just turn around quickly and exit. Be thankful it wasn't your child that was hit. Or your face.

V

2009-11-12T10:14:00.003-06:00

They're not exactly from outer space, but we definitely have visitors.
And not the invited kind, either.
Although I am intrigued by them when they visit my husband's workshop, I am NOT, I repeat NOT as casual about when they visit MY workshop. As in kitchen, folks.
Yesterday we found, er, evidence of their presence in the silverware drawers.
I didn't waste any time picking up some wack-em-dead traps. As my sister recently discovered, it is much more humane, and even a little satisfying, to kill them quickly instead of torturing the little boogers. They like peanut butter, so it makes a great bait.
I got home, set the traps carefully in drawers I knew they had recently visited, and before I was even in bed, I had caught two.

Passing seasons

2009-11-04T08:12:00.004-06:00

Sometimes God has a really great sense of humor.
And timing.
Sometimes He strikes a longing in your heart that can't be naturally filled.
Just so you'll go looking for a supernatural filling.

It makes me wonder what He's trying to say to me.

Once upon a time we decided what would be best for our family, and made decisions that impacted the rest of our lives. We believed that we were doing the right thing. We have believed it for years. Suddenly and recently I'm not so sure. Suddenly and recently, I wish we had chosen differently. But what's done is done, right?

But that doesn't stop the longing. Knowing that it's too late doesn't stop me from praying for a miracle.

Meanwhile, He has been reminding me that there is a season for everything. So what season am I enjoying today?

I am teaching a fourth and a sixth grader.

I am struggling with a pre-teen daughter who is feeling unexpected bouts of moody rage.

I am studying about purity, in preparation for teaching my budding pre-teens God's plan for their lives.

I am being reminded to fall on my face before the Lord when I don't know what to do.

I am spending time praying for friends and family in their daily stuff.

I am learning to be thankful for this season, and not long for one that may be in the past for me.

Are we there yet?

2009-10-26T21:19:00.003-05:00

What is it these days with the propoganda all over TV? I can barely watch anything anymore without homosexuality being thrown in my face. It seems like I get into a show and then they introduce a lesbian couple.
But I just realized that it isn't any different than any other sexual immorality to God.
This must be what our parents felt like as television was taken over with "free love."
We have been so inundated with sexual images that we aren't shocked anymore. At this rate, my kids will be as used to seeing homosexuality as I am used to seeing every other kind of immorality.
Time to chuck the TV, move to the mountains, and start the llama herd.

Score!

2009-10-20T12:31:00.002-05:00

Let me just brag for a minute on my darling daughter, will you?
She's not a great test taker.
There have been many pre-test meltdowns in our classroom.
Today was not any different.
But she wants something from me, so she stifled it, for once.
And she scored a 99%!!!

Now I will brag on myself momentarily.
Caleb's grandmother signed him up in the Lego Brickmaster Club early this year.
He watches the mailbox like a hawk, because he gets packages every other month.
He hasn't received one in quite some time.
I emailed them yesterday to ask what was up, and this morning they apologized, fixed his messed up membership, shipped the mailings he has missed, and extended his membership for
Five extra mailings!!! (That's ten extra months!!)

SCORE!!

Zaccheus video

2009-10-16T12:14:00.001-05:00

Safari!

2009-10-09T10:52:00.005-05:00

Where can you go to eyeball an emu?

Where can you gaze at a zebra?

Where can you speak to a spider monkey?

Where can you observe an ostrich?

Where can you consort with a camel?

Where can you gratify a giraffe's appetite?

Where can you wander with wildebeests?

Where can you be dazzled by deer?

Where can you look at a llama?

Why, Tennessee Safari Park, of course!

Wordless Wednesday (cousins)

2009-10-07T14:58:00.003-05:00

You may call me Nancy Drew

2009-10-05T21:36:00.004-05:00

Kroger or Wal-Mart?
I couldn't decide which one to visit for a little alone time after a particularly grumpy day. I approached the stop sign where I needed to decide to turn or go straight, depending upon the destination. I crept up slowly behind the trailer-pulling pick up truck already sitting at the intersection.
"What is that odd shape on the trailer?" I wondered.
That's when I recognized it. It was a piece of playground equipment like some I had seen before. There was another large piece in the back of the truck, as well as two volley ball net poles on the trailer.
"Hmmm."
"What if that isn't just like the school's waiting-to-be-installed playground equipment."
"What if it IS the school's waiting-to-be-installed playground equipment."
The truck turned the direction toward Wal-Mart, so my dilemma was solved. I needed to know if my spidey sense was correct. I kept behind the truck until it came to a traffic light in town, prepared to snap a photo with my handy-dandy camera phone, when I saw it clearly by the glow of a street light. In bold black letters on the belly of the moulded plastic hippo was the name of the school. My suspicions were confirmed.
"Why is playground equipment being moved at 8:00 at night?"
So I called hubby and had him notify the police.
But somehow, giving them the make, model and tag number of the truck didn't seem like enough. I decided to follow the truck to see where it went.
So I did.
But when it turned down a dark, one-way country lane with nowhere to turn around, I decided my adventure was over. I went back into town to report the wherabouts of the truck to the police.
I hope I have helped the school in a possible recovery of their equipment. I hope that I didn't misinterpret what I saw. I hope no one comes to snuff out the witness.

Great Scott!

2009-10-02T00:08:00.002-05:00

The hot tub has pooped out on us for the time being. Seems that you actually have to take care of these things once in a while. Okay, so it's the pump motor, and I can't really do anything to it, so upkeep on it isn't my spiritual gift. I just have to make sure the water's not nasty, and it's warm when it's needed.

Thankfully, I have a pretty handy hubby, and he took it apart to see what was up. Apparently there's a part in it that fires up like the starter on a florescent light bulb that makes the light turn on. It's called the capacitor.

Heehee!

Our flux capacitor is fried.

I don't think a giant bolt of lightning would be a great idea to power up the hot tub.

Do you?

Autumn breeze

2009-10-01T09:27:00.003-05:00

Oh, the sounds of living in the woods! It has been so beautiful this week that I have left the windows open, morning and night. I LOVE living in the forest! The birds, the trees, the crickets, the frogs, the barking neighbor's dogs..... Okay, so not-so-much loving the barking dogs.
I found some gorgeous mums at the local nursery to plant in the concrete planters that I was given. I don't have a green thumb AT ALL, but you just can't go wrong on a good mum. I think I'm gonna go get a couple more today and plant them in the brick pillars out front.
The smell of burning leaves wafts through the house occasionally. Fresh, clean air is filling every corner, and the coolness has me wearing fuzzy slippers again.
Oh, fall! Beautiful autumn that changes leaves from monochromatic to an artist's palette! Only God could have created such a wonderful season!

Hello again

2009-09-21T22:50:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know.
I have been gone for a while. It's hard to find time to blog when I'm busy facebooking, exercising, counting calories, facebooking, teaching, swim practice driving, etc.
Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be reading Shawn's current textbook.
Oh, and planning our vacation to Disney in a few months. This time we let the kids in on the plans. I just bought Hailey a Tinkerbell costume off eBay that she can wear while we're there. Yes, she still likes to play dress up. I'm going to try to snag her another Giselle wedding dress tomorrow. She absolutely loved the one she just outgrew. In fact, I've had to tell her she can't wear it anymore.
We are planning to camp at Disney's Fort Wilderness Campground and Resort. We love camping, and wish we could go more often than we have recently. So I'm really looking forward to it. The dogs even get to go!

Yup

2009-09-18T09:00:00.003-05:00

I don't know why he picked that day to bother me, but I was sick up to "here" with door-to-door solicitation, and I was having none of it.
"Hi, My name is (insert forgotten name, because I didn't really give a flip at the moment), and I'm selling meat."
"I'm not interested. Please leave."
"Don't you like great steaks?"
"No, we don't eat red meat. Good-bye."
(totally a lie, and I'm going to roast in hell for it)
"What about chicken? I have a great deal on chicken that I'm sure you will enjoy."
"I'm really not interested, now please go away."
Sounding a little desperate, now, "You mean you don't like good deals?"
"No, I despise good deals, and I'm not interested in the least in what you have to offer. Now really, I'm going inside, and you need to go."
**As I turn to go inside, the passenger in the mini-van hops out, and I assume he is going to try to convince me. I throw up my hand in a "stop" motion, effectively halting him in his tracks**
"I SAID I AM NOT INTERESTED IN WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE SELLING! NOW,
GET OFF MY PROPERTY!!!!!"
"I was just wondering if (insert another forgotten, incorrect name) still lives over there." **indicating my next door neighbor, who I happen to know has lived there since the neighborhood has been built
"I have no idea." **I go inside, and they finally leave.

Cut to last night, when I saw a news clip of a woman who had been scammed by a door-to-door meat salesman. They showed his picture.

IT WAS THE SAME GUY!
I knew it!!!

Thankful

2009-09-07T16:13:00.003-05:00

I knew I shouldn't do it. Shawn even questioned my decision. But I let both of our Yorkies outside in the front with me while I pulled weeds out of the flower bed. I was keeping an eye on them (mostly).

They were running around chasing butterflies and hummingbirds and having a jolly time. But after a while, I got distracted and didn't notice that Zaccheus was no longer near me.

I looked up just in time to see Cricket jump to full alert and run around the house. That's when I registered what I was hearing. I could hear a small dog screaming for it's life, and Zacchie was no where to be seen.

By the time I got around to the back, my husband was in a full out run towards the heart-stopping sound. Then the sound stopped. The silence was worse that the screaming, because then we couldn't find where it had come from, and Zacchie didn't answer when we called. Not even a jingle of his collar.

Frantic now, Shawn jumped the fence into the neighbor's wooded back yard, and went around calling his name, begging him to answer.

No sound.

I ran around the back of their fence all the way around the block to check the next couple of neighbors away. They have many big dogs, and I just knew that if Zaccheus had gotten close enough to their teeth, they would have pulled him into the fence and eaten him alive.

Still no sign of him.

Crying now, and desperate to hear his voice, even if it was a wimper, I stopped to listen carefully. Cricket had come with me, and she gave no sign of recognition.

I walked the rest of the way home, occasionally calling out his name. By the time I got back round to our house, I knew it. Zacchie was gone. To neighbor dogs or a passing hawk, I didn't know, but gone just the same.

Cricket was waiting by the door for me to let her in, panting, and in need of a drink. I opened the door and was met by a beautiful sight.

Zaccheus.

Safe and sound, waiting for me to play with him.

Still

2009-09-06T15:46:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time a young girl went camping with her parents, and while they were camping, they journeyed to a beautiful spring with an old fashioned mill. While the girl was enjoying the sight of this mill from the shade of a giant tree, her mother suggested that it would be the perfect place to get the first kiss from that perfect "someone."

The girl tucked that information away in her heart to think about at a later time.

By and by, the girl began taking night classes at the local community college, and there she met a nice boy who, by chance, was taking some of the same classes.

They attended a school function, where they realized they each enjoyed the company of the other. They began studying together, and the boy even went to church with the girl.

Somewhere along the way, the girl shared the story about the beautiful mill, and her mother's suggestion, and the boy tucked that information away into his heart to think about at a later time, for himself.

Days grew to weeks, which became months, and the boy and girl realized that their love for each other was great enough to consider marriage.

The boy had a great adventure planned for himself and the girl he loved. He had never forgotten the story he had heard from her about the beautiful mill and her mother's suggestion.

He took her there one day. They had a picnic right under the tree near the spring, in view of the old mill. And then, with purpose and determination, he leaned in and kissed the girl he loved so much.

Many years, marriage, cats, dogs, fish, and two children later, the boy, now grown into a man, took his love back to the mill. The tree was still there. The spring was still flowing with cold, clear water. The children recognized the mill from a painting of it that hangs over their fireplace.

He kissed her once more under the shadow of the tree. And she knew her mother was still right, even after all these years.

It was still the perfect place to be kissed by that perfect someone.

Adventures in Crockpot-Land

2009-09-01T21:59:00.003-05:00

I'm not what you'd call adventurous in the food department. I know what I like wherever I go, and I usually order the same thing. The only way I'll get something different is if YOU order it, I try it, and I like it enough to remember to get it the next time.
While I was in Iowa, my cousin's wife cooked up some enchiladas that I bravely tried. They were very, very good. In fact, they were so good, I friended her on facebook to request the recipe. It took her a while to get back to me with it, and after getting a bit impatient, I found a recipe online for crockpot enchilada casserole that sounded do-able. Since I was really wanting to try it, I stopped at the grocery store for just what I needed. Ground turkey substituted for the ground beef, a can of Rotel tomatoes and chilis substituted for the can of green chilis, everything else was fine. I made up the mixture, layered it as directed, turned on the crockpot, and anticipated a wonderful dinner for the evening.
Meanwhile, as the crockpot simmered, I baby-sat a very good friend's four children, and enjoyed an adventurous day, filled with running through the neighbor's sprinkler without permission, disposing of a dead racoon, cleaning up vomit from the little one who started running a pretty high fever while I had no children's Tylenol to give.
Yep, fun was had by all. At least we had donut holes for breakfast.
Then, after all the excitement died down, I took Hailey to swim practice, where she didn't fail to impress me with her stamina and determination. (Proud momma here!)
I was still very much looking forward to a wonderful meal when I got back home.
After swim team, I hopped over to the in-law's rental place, where Shawn was mowing the grass, so it was almost 8:00 by the time I got home for dinner.
I lifted the lid from the pot, and saw that it was actually beyond done. It didn't look very good, but it smelled okay. I fixed Hailey and myself a portion, trying not to think about how it looked a little like the mess I'd cleaned up after my little friend.
And then I managed to get down a bowl of it, all while trying not to think of how the texture felt like the mess I'd cleaned up after my little friend.
And now it sits heavily in my stomach, and it makes me feel like I could make a mess very much like the one I cleaned up after my little friend.
I don't think I'll be making THAT again.
Fortunately, my cousin-in-law emailed me her recipe today.

Lego Obi Wan Kenobi cake

2009-08-29T14:21:00.006-05:00

I made Caleb a cake for his birthday party.

I posted this on facebook already, so you may have seen it.

Before I made it, I mentioned that I was going to go jedi on a cake and try to make lego Obi Wan Kenobi.

There were a couple "May the force be with you" comments, but my friend Jeff quoted Yoda. "Do or do not. There is no try."

Be amazed. Be very amazed.

Diane = pumpkin

2009-08-28T12:25:00.003-05:00

Last night I went to our homeschool meeting without my sister.
It was really hard not being together. We have been on this journey for the past four years, and we've both been each other's side-kick in the dynamic of our group.
She meets needs that I sometimes don't even really articulate, like finding us seats where I won't be in the middle and feel claustrophobic. It's not like I can't find my own seat, but it's really nice not to have to explain that, "no, I can't sit next to you because then I will be smooshed for the entire evening because I'm really self-conscious of the fact that I'm large and take up more space than I should, but thanks for asking." (I have a thing about sitting on the end of the row, because of that.)
It feels like I'm setting out on this journey of homeschooling all over again. So now I have to figure out how I fit into the group without my fellow groupie. Due to the fact that I'm really cutting back on my extra stuff since Shawn is back in school, I have resigned from the group board, and am unsure of my place anymore. Chris and I did all the volunteer things together. We organized the year end event and brought the snacks to the October meeting. We were both on the board together...
But I dragged my sad hiney to the meeting last night anyway. And by the time I left, I knew where I would be serving. I will be helping a dear friend with the girls cooking club. I'm really glad I get to work with her, because I love her, and she is fun to be with. She's about the only one to be able to get away with saying to me what she said last night, in front of a room full of people and have it not hurt my feelings.
"I would LOVE to have you work with me in the cooking club! Did you know you look like a pumpkin?"
( I was wearing a rather bright orange shirt with a bright green tank layered under it.)

Double digits

2009-08-24T09:29:00.004-05:00

It doesn't seem like it has been ten years, but it has.

Ten years and eight months ago, I was lying on the bathroom floor bawling because I was going to have another baby. These were not happy tears. Oh, no! These were panic tears. Hailey was only six months old, at the time, and she was.... high maintinence. I thought God must have been out of his ever lovin' mind, because if a positive pregnancy test was his idea of a joke, then I clearly didn't get the punch line.

I was scared.

Three and a half weeks later, I had a change of heart in the form of cramps and bleeding. I knew I was miscarrying, since miscarriage rates run high in my family. But when I saw his tiny heart beating on that ultrasound that day, I decided I wanted this child. I still had a bad attitude about the timing, but I didn't want to lose him. By then, I had decided that he was a boy, and settled on his name. (good thing he wasn't a girl! I don't know any female Calebs.)

The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly. Mostly, I was busy with my baby girl, and the time flew.

At my last doctor's appointment, when he scheduled me to be induced the next Tuesday, I didn't pay any attention to the date. I was just so over being pregnant. But later, when I called my sister to tell her, I realized that my son would be born on her son's tenth birthday.

Ten years ago today, I went to the hospital and met my son. It wasn't until I saw his face that I fell in love with him.

He is my delight. He is my heart. He is a pain in the hiney, and I will never be the same.

The reason I think your job is stupid is because...

2009-08-15T21:00:00.002-05:00

I would NEVER say anything like that to someone!
I would never say to a sanitation worker, "The only problem I have with garbage collection is that you stink at the end of the day."
I would never say to a banker, "The only problem I have with banking is that you have to lock all that lovely money back in the vault at the end of the day, and can't take any of it home."
I would never say to a postmaster, "The only problem I have with sorting mail is that you have to remember all the zip codes."
I would never say to the cashier at Wal-Mart, "The only problem I have with checking out people is having to stand here and interact politely to people you don't know, who might even be rude to you."
WHY would people feel the need to say, as soon as they hear you mention that you homeschool, "The only problem I have with homeschooling is ________?"
Everyone has their own opinion of homeschooling. Folks who don't personally know homeschooling families even have their opinion. It's all based on what they suppose homeschoolers do with their school time. What? Do they think we don't actually HAVE school? Do they think we hole up here in our quiet country home, never go anywhere except church, never interact with non-homeschoolers, and become completely socially inept? I'd put my children up against your average fourth and sixth graders any day of the week. Are they perfect? Heavens no! Are they always obedient? Uh, again, no. Do they sometimes drive me crazy? If today was any indication, heck, yeah! But for the most part, they are polite, well-mannered, pleasant children.
I would never, ever presume to tell any parent that I have a problem with them sending their children to public or private school. Every family should do what works for their own family, and not act like it's a personal affront if someone does differently.
Okay, done with my rant for the day.
Carry on.

Wordless Wednesday (National S'mores Day)

2009-08-12T11:58:00.002-05:00

When it rains

2009-08-12T09:07:00.003-05:00

My sister is finally getting her gall bladder out today. She's been having some pretty serious attacks, and I'm glad she'll be getting relief soon.
If they bump her from the schedule, I'll be really upset, because we have plans to travel to Iowa tonight.
Yes, we're crazy.
If the surgeon can remove her gall bladder laparoscopically, and if she's not hurling, and if she feels up to it we will leave tonight and I'll drive all night.
I have a bed all set up for her and she will just sleep through the trip.
If she has the traditional incision, we won't try such madness.
Why would we contemplate it at all?
Our favorite aunt has unexpectedly passed away, and we want to be there for her funeral, if at all possible.
In the event that my sister is unable to travel, I'll still go. I'll take Hailey so I won't be alone. I haven't mentioned the possibility to her because I don't want her to be disappointed if I leave her behind.
And yes, we really are crazy.

Make it so Number One

2009-08-04T18:50:00.003-05:00

Captain's log: Day 2; Stardate 8409.
So far, the local beings have been amenable to our endeavors to assist them in learning. There have not been many signs of an uprising, but I hesitate to believe they will continue to acquiesce to our demands. Surely they will revolt. The only question that remains is how long will they continue to comply.
It seems that periodic offerings of unfamiliar supplies and trinkets is sufficient to keep the locals distracted and peaceful.
We will continue to update as our research progresses.
Captain out.

Coming out of Going into the closet

2009-08-02T14:28:00.004-05:00

After much hard work and preparation, our classroom is finally finished. I would have liked to have painted the room, but money is tight these days, and I needed to get other things.
Like books.
We have an actual school table and chairs. They came from a public school that was being demolished. I also have a few desks and some pull-down maps (that still need to be hung... Oh, ShaaaaaaaaAAAAwwwwn!) that came from the school.
I like having a room to school in, so it is all contained.
Boy, Howdy! Is it contained!
On the end of the room is a wall with three doorless closets, in the middle of which is my computer desk. The other two have been storing two of the student desks, among other things. On a wild hunch, I emptied these closets, turned the desks sideways, hung a few shelves and a light in each, and ta-da! They are cubicles! (complete with curtains so that at the end of the day, the chairs gets pushed in, the rolling drawers slide behind the chairs, the curtains get pulled shut, and I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT THEM!!!!)
So tomorrow we begin.

BRING IT.

It's that time of year, again

2009-07-31T09:19:00.003-05:00

The last lazy day of summer is here.
I slept until 8:47.
I had such good intentions of using this week to re-boot my "school-year" clock. You know, get up a little earlier each day, in an attempt to make next Monday morning not feel like punishment. Truth is, if we were in regular school, we'd be getting up sometime between 5 and 6. But that's one of the beautiful things about homeschooling. I can indulge my not-a-morning-person self and sleep until 8 7.
Whatever.
My kids have finally gotten to the magic age of sleep. Babies never let you get any (sleep, that is), and toddlers are so full of energy that sleep isn't even close to being on their minds. But this? These kids are more my speed. They'll sleep past 8 with no problem, and Caleb has been hauling his tail out of bed around 9:30 of late.
I'm a night owl, so climbing in the bed past midnight is a regular occurence for me.
But today is the day.
The last day of summer break.
We're going to the library to report Hailey's fiendish summer reading, and rack up on prizes. I'm so proud of her!
We are going to Target, Sam's, and do a little geocaching.
And then we're going back to Aunt Chris' to get our swim groove on one more time.

Yay, SUMMER!!!!

fundraiser

2009-07-29T09:01:00.002-05:00

Every year someone's little darling has something to sell. Cookie dough, popcorn, candy, wrapping paper, gift cards...
The list goes on and on.
In the past I have wondered where the money that's raised actually goes.
Gym equipment, library books, computers, general curriculum?
Who knows.
So I was wondering...
Are homeschoolers allowed to have fundraisers, too?
What if they need computers or gym equipment?
Or even ongoing swim team fees?
hmmm.

Not Me Monday

2009-07-13T00:00:00.002-05:00

Monday, Monday! Can't trust that day!

I think I am going to love this segment almost as much as Grillin' Goodness on Fridays. (almost, but not quite)

Where else do you get to poke fun at yourself, pretending that you have SO NOT done the things that embarrass your children?

SO, here's what I didn't do this week.

I really didn't dress up like a cow in a foolish attempt to receive free chicken at my local Chick-Fil-A after I realized they were actually giving away free combo meals. That would be silly, and I am NOT silly. Nope, NOT ME!

I seriously didn't shave the tiny boy puppy down to his skin, in an attempt to make sense of his naked hiney that was shaved for his surgery.

And I would never have left his head hairy so that he wouldn't be completely naked, because then he would look a bit lion-ish. Why would I do that? Certainly not so that he'd still have some hair for me to grab when he's being stubborn and won't come to me!

And no, he doesn't look at all like a bobble head! Not even a little bit!

The randomness of a boy's mind

2009-07-10T20:48:00.004-05:00

Caleb had a friend over for the afternoon yesterday.

This is a friend I like to have around.

You know the kind... respectful, funny, kind, sweet, but all boy.

Caleb asked him, "Will you remember me forever?"

**I thought, what a sweet question!**

J said, "Yeah, why?"

Caleb: Knock, knock

**I'm thinking, well, that moment was short. He's so random sometimes!**

J: Who's there?

Caleb: I thought you were going to remember me forever!

I had to leave the room so I could laugh hysterically.

Pollyanna Doesn't Live Here

2009-07-02T15:53:00.003-05:00

We are experiencing some sort of mind-warp around here. I think the lack of structure that inevitably comes from being off school for the summer is causing problems.

Hailey is having a tough time right now.

She thinks she doesn't have any friends.

Of course, she has spent time with M, down the street.

She spent a few hours with B, just two days ago.

Yesterday she spent the ENTIRE DAY with J, including taking her swimming with us and then to church.

But when she went to bed last night, during our snuggle, she wailed about how she doesn't have any friends.

I listened to her problems for a while.

Then I told her to get a grip. I reminded her of the past few days of friend-fun.

I told her to train her mind to focus on the good things she has, instead of the things she might possibly be missing.

Methinks puberty is not too far in our future...

Not Me Monday

2009-06-29T13:11:00.003-05:00

I've been following the blog of Jennifer McKinney for a while now. She has a segment on Monday called Not me! Monday that I am going to try to incorporate just for the fun of it. I might not do a Not Me! Monday every week. It will depend on how the week goes and if I have something embarrassing to share. This week I do. I'll start off with her instructions.

Are you feeling guilty for pretending not to notice as your child sucked toothpaste out of the tube? Feel like a slouch for wearing your husband's big, baggy t-shirts all day? We'll don't! Not Me! Monday was born out of my desire to admit some of my imperfections and reveal a few moments I'd rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!

When I was practicing for our annual production of I Hear America Singing, I most certainly did not read my line about Benjamin Franklin negotiating treaties with Great Britain, Spain, and Francis. Nope! Not Me! That would be stupid! And after I didn't do that, I definitely did not blush to the roots of my hair. I really didn't!

See, wasn't that fun? Don't you want to do it, too?

Just click on the link above, read all about it, blog your own Not Me! Monday, and sign in on Jennifer's Mr. Linky.

Grilling Goodness (short and sweet)

2009-06-26T22:13:00.004-05:00

1. When you were growing up dreaming of having children...dreaming of what their names would be...did you stick with those names?

I don't remember having baby names picked out.

2. Are you affected by the death of Michael Jackson?

I didn't feel the need to call my sister that MJ had passed, nor that Farrah had passed. But when I heard that Willie Herenton had resigned being Memphis mayor, I picked up the phone.

3. Do you use your dishwasher and your fireplace?

Yes on both. I love that my electric fireplace can be used anytime, because it can be just a fire without heat.

4. Have you ever been on a mission trip?

Not out of the country, but I have participated in backyard Bible clubs downtown in Memphis. Does that count?

5. Will your kids participate in a Vacation Bible school this summer?

Already have.

6. What about the economy is affecting you the worst?

Mostly just the money part.

7. Do your kids do chores?

When they are awake, they do.

8. Do you use energy efficient light bulbs?

Only when I want to see in the dark.

Lost and Found

2009-06-20T16:10:00.002-05:00

On our gorgeous 2.25 acres of wooded land, we have lots of trees.

Obviously.

It is quite overgrown, and slowly, but surely we are reclaiming it, and attempting to restore it to its former glory.

Last time Shawn mowed in the back, he cleared out a bit more undergrowth, and made it possible for me to mow around some more trees.

So today, as I was mowing, I found a fully grown, if not a bit straggly-looking tree full of....

...
...

wait for it...

...
...

almost ripe apples!

Grilling Goodness

2009-06-19T09:49:00.003-05:00

I'm on the laptop, so I don't have the little grilling picture. But here's the scoop...

1. What do you like most about your skin?
Hmm, I love that it's on the outside of my body, effectively holding my organs together. I also love that I have a nice complection, and my skin on my face is soft.

2. Does your spouse mind grocery shopping for you or with you?
No, he actually likes to go with me, and if I give him a detailed list including brand names, package sizes and quantity desired, he's fine with going for me. But he's a weird sort who also likes to go to the mall or hang out at Best Buy or Sam's, too.

3. Do you have access to a pool for the summer?
Oh, yes! My sister has a delicious pool in her back yard, complete with diving board, slide, and water!

4. Do you have plans for Father's Day?
I figure we'll take Daddy out to lunch after church, and he might get lucky, too. (a foot massage, guys! I was talking about a foot massage!)

5. Is there anything that terrified you as a child that you find .... now?
I was always a little afraid of the dark, and storms still make me very nervous. I think the storm fear might have started when I was young and a tornado was coming, we jumped in the car and went to the hospital to bunker down in the basement.

6. If you could do something instantly, what would it be?
Uh, I would heal Zacchie from his surgery, and drop 5 or 100 pounds.

7. What would you do to entertain visitors from out of town?
I could dance a little jig and sing a ditty. Or I could feed them well, take them to my sister's place and hang at the pool with them. Or we could go camping together.

8. If your best friend owes you money, do you bug them until you get it?
No, I usually forget to get it back until she remembers to give it to me. We don't ever let money come between us.

Sum, Sum, Summertime

2009-06-18T10:14:00.007-05:00

Well, the summer's finally getting into swing around here. It feels like I've been on overdrive for a few weeks. I'm not sure where the exhaustion is coming from. I feel like I could sleep for a week.

Thanks to an adequate disbursement from our friendly insurance company, we are slowly replacing all things stolen from the cars. I received my shiny new red GPS today, and should get my new Zune in the next week, or so. Of course, I had to order it online, to get the best deal, but I can be patient... It is also red. Any guesses what my favorite color is?

We are ~~frantically~~ working on our patriotic-type Fourth of July musical program we do every year at church. It's only a week and a half away, so we don't have much time left. But I'm certain that it will be as great as it always has been. We fill the house to overflowing every year. The year before last, our group sang the National Anthem at the Memphis Redbirds stadium, and last year we sang a couple of songs on our local news morning show to promote the program. This year we haven't done anything special, but with the pastor's retirement a few weeks ago, and VBS last week, we were all pretty busy.

You can't see me, because I'm obscured by the really tall dude with his back to you. I was standing next to the blonde lady. But here's proof that I was actually there that evening...

Just before the picture was shot, Rocky said something funny, and I was laughing. That's why my eyes look all squinty.

Zaccheus is recovering from his leg surgery, which he had on Tuesday. He is in quite a bit of pain, but once he's better, he should go on to lead a fairly normal life. (That is, as normal as he can have with a cleft palate, a rectum that was once sewn shut, and a piece of bone missing from his femur that fits into his hip socket.) I'm thinking of changing his name to Lucky.

Shawn and the kids ship off to camp on Monday. I would have gone too, but it always falls on the week before our program, and we have crunch practices. So I'll have the house to myself. You'd think I'd spend the time sleeping in and lounging by the pool, but NOooooo, I've signed up to help decorate and set the stage for said program. What was I thinking? I could so use a day at the spa or something!

A bit ago, a question on my friend's Grilling Goodness meme was anwered thusly:

1. If you had 10 hours at home alone, what would you do?
Laundry, facebook, nap, facebook, catch up on stuff on the DVR, facebook...

I was wrong. Apparently, given time alone, I will schedule myself to donate every. waking. hour. to prepare for upcoming events...

**sigh**

Grilling Goodness

2009-06-05T08:20:00.004-05:00

Okay, it's Friday again. You all know what Friday means, right? Yep, another delicious, nutricious, 0 points, fat-free, calorie-free Grilling Goodness. Play along, if you like. Just check in with Tina, at Golden Goodness, sign in with Mr. Linky, copy and paste the questions to your own blog, and voila! You're Grillin'!

1. Do you like a scent that others might find strange?

I love the smell of the concrete when the rain just starts to fall.

2. Are you a pack rat or do you purge regularly?

My theory is that if I don't need it in a year, I don't need it for any season, and it goes.

3. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer that keeps you out of the heat?

I don't mind the heat, if I'm sitting by the pool. (no pressure, Chris!)

4. What is your favorite number? Why?

My sister buys everything in pairs, and it has totally rubbed off on me. Two loaves of bread, two gallons of milk, two boxes of Velveeta. (it doesn't apply to big things, like cars or houses, though.)

5. What color do you choose most when painting your nails?

I like bright colors in the warm weather. I have a neon pink that will hurt your eyes if you look at it too long.

6. Have you done anything abnormal this week?
Who you callin' abnormal? Eh, I'm pretty fly-by-the-seat-of-my britches, so it's all a bit abnormal.

7. What's the best thing happening this weekend?
Maybe taking the kids to see the movie Up. I heard it was really good, and KLOVE actually reported that it had underlying tones of good morals, like loyalty and trustworthiness. Sounds like a plan.

8. Did you have to dissect anything when you were in school?

Nope. Being homeschooled, we just skipped that one. Boo-hoo.

I think she hates me

2009-06-04T09:05:00.002-05:00

There is a woman in my life who hates me.

At least, that's my impression, anyway.

Once, when I was newly married, she asked me what my favorite fruit was. I said "strawberries." Then, for the next eight years, she proceded to buy me all manner of kitchen accessories that had anything to do with strawberries. Strawberry plates, strawberry towels, strawberry tea pot, strawberry egg timer, a giant strawberry cookie jar, it went on and on for years, until I finally told her that I was out of the strawberry phase.

Last year, out of the blue, she sent me a little comb with a miniature tiara. It was really pretty.

For a four-year-old.

Then, for Christmas, she sent me a real life-size tiara.

I wore it a few times as a joke.

It actually has been used in real situations twice, by my daughter and niece, who had reason to get gussied up, and needed a tiara. I was all like, hey, I have one of those! You can borrow mine! Ooo, ooo! Pick me!

For my birthday this year, I got a box full of random items. There were some clothes (which don't fit either my body, nor my style), some body lotions that smell really yucky, some cute Pier One bath gel doo-dads that come in plastic packages that look like frogs or something, a baseball cap, and a tea for two set. (that looks like a rose)

Ummm, okayden.

Yesterday UPS called in the morning, and asked for my daughter. I told them she was a child, and could I, her mother, help them. They had a package to deliver to a Hailey Thomas, but the address was wrong. What was our street number?

When it showed up, it was bedding, ordered by HER, (the one who hates me) and shipped directly to my child.

It is hideous.

While we were looking at the catalog that came with it (to see what we can exchange for the hideousness), Hailey pipes up with, "that's the one Caleb's getting." She's pointing at a set with zebras running across the bottom of it.

Oh, no, she di-n't! It was even worse than the one Hailey got.

Okay, so I lost it. To Shawn, I wailed, "Why is she DOING this to me!!!???"
He SO doesn't get it.

Is it too much to ask that I be allowed to decorate my OWN HOME???!!!

I know I should be thankful that she is thinking of us.

I know I should see it all as love.

I know I am whining, and she doesn't really hate me. (so refrain from stories about how your sombody or other hates you)

But......

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grilling Goodness

2009-05-29T10:31:00.003-05:00

1. If you had 10 hours at home alone, what would you do?

Laundry, facebook, nap, facebook, catch up on stuff on the DVR, facebook...

2. Do you have a fond memory of your dad?

Many, many fond ones. The one that sticks out today is when he taught me to water ski, and I couldn't keep my feet together, he screwed a small board between them to hold them together, until I got the hang of it.

3. Do you prefer the pool or the beach?

The pool for swimming, the beach for the salty air; the pool for relaxing, the beach for the sounds of the waves; the pool for home, the beach for vacation.

4. What's the furthest you've driven for one day of fun?

We have driven to Sikeston for throwed rolls and outlet shopping, and to Nashville for a Selah concert.

5. Solid, clear solid, clear gel or aerosol? Deodorant of choice, that is.

Solid.

6. Do you tan or burn/peel?

Burn and peel at least once, then tan the rest of summer.

7. What's your favorite pasta-based meal?

Cheese manicotti. Or lasagna.

8. Do you wax or pluck your eyebrows?

Not on purpose.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2009-05-26T10:54:00.003-05:00

On Memorial Day, when I hopped in the car to head over to a friend's house, I reached for my Zune to crank up the tunes.

It wasn't there.

I went into the house to see which kid had helped themselves to MY personal property, and after hearing the denials, realized it wasn't the only thing missing. My GPS, Shawn's GPS, the (very expensive) DVD system, the earrings I wore in my wedding, Shawn's computer diagnostic tool, and various chargers and electrical cords were missing, too.

Thankfully, I had not left my purse in my car. (Shawn had been on me about leaving it out there in our driveway, even though we live in a very quiet, country neighborhood.)

The doors to both vehicles were left unlocked. We have not worried about anything being stolen.

We were wrong.

It pains me to know that someone walked right up to our home and took things that didn't belong to them. Things that we had worked hard to purchase, that meant something to us.

This is the epitome of disrepect, in my opinion. Disrespect for people's privacy, personal space, and personal belongings.

But it is also disrespect for themselves, as well. They are perfectly capable of earning the money it takes to own such items. Of course, I understand that it wasn't the items themselves that the thieves were after, but whatever money they could get for selling them, or trading them. I get it. I know how it works.

But through it all, I can try to teach my kids a lesson.

Do not steal. Aside from the fact that the Bible calls it sin, the victims are hurt. They feel violated. They are mad, sad, and hurt. They will spend time being afraid.

Respect others and don't steal. Respect yourself and don't steal. Respect God and DON'T STEAL!

Grilling Goodness

2009-05-22T16:37:00.005-05:00

1. Do you have a cell phone that allows you to check your email?

My Gravity would be happy to let me check my email, as long as I was checking it on the computer, 'cuz I don't have internet access on my phone.

2. Have you ever caught a foul ball at a baseball game?

Nope.

3. What foreign accent can you imitate the best?

I can't 'do' foreign accents, but my brother in law is amazing at it.

4. Do you have plans for Memorial Day?

I thought I might plant some stuff, and visit the graveyard in my back yard, just to see all the graves of soldiers from WWII there.

5. Does your hair look decent if you let it air dry?

I do it all the time, and no one has run from me screaming because of my hideousness.

6. When is the last time you went to a waterpark?

Couple of years ago, Shawn and I went to the one at Six Flags. Had a blast!The cool thing about the slides is that there is no weight limit, and I got to ride everything!

7. Do you turn on your porch light every night?

Porch light, no, but the light on my light post, at the end of my driveway is always on. (even when it got ran over)

8. Have you ever had to call the fire department?

Once, we burned some tree branches and after the fire was out completely, and we were lying in bed that night, we heard sirens. They got closer and closer, until we decided to go outside and see where they were going. To our surprise, they pulled into our yard, in full gear, ready to fight a fire that didn't even exist. When they asked us why we would have a fire when we were under a burn ban, I told them that we didn't know. "It was on the news," they said. I didn't see the news. "It was in the paper," they said. We didn't get the paper. They were going to bill us for coming out.

I told them they could bill whomever called them, because we didn't call, and we didn't need them. We never saw that bill.

The other time a fire truck came to our house was when Hailey had an allergic reaction, and I called 911. The fire department was the first on the scene.

Wordless Wednesday with a twist

2009-05-20T10:44:00.002-05:00

Caleb's diagram of his record pogo stick jumping (notice the arrows), and Hailey's of her record hula hoop-ing (those are not b%bs on her stick figure, thank you, they are her arms.)

Mr. College student, studying for his first class.

stuff

2009-05-16T18:09:00.003-05:00

I haven't been on in a while, so I wanted to post a couple of cool things: a project I'm working on, and a Grilling Goodness, just because I couldn't resist.

Shawn just started back to college, but since he's working full time as well, finding time to read his assignments is a challenge. He mentioned to me that he wished he could pay someone to record themselves reading it out loud. Then he could load it on his MP3 player and listen on the road and at work. I was delighted to have something that I could do to help him finish his degree, so I offered to do it. So we downloaded an audio recorder program, bought a microphone, and I got right to it. I'm reading textbooks, (yay me) but then I realized I could record any book, so I'm making our own audio books. As I was working on my first project, I had the greatest idea. If I save them carefully, I could be reading to my grandkids and great-grandkids!
How cool is that?

1. Where do your shoes 'live'?

Mostly wherever I kick them off, until they migrate to my room and onto my hanging shoe rack.

2. When it's 'clean house' day, where do you start?

I start in the classroom, at the dry erase board, where I make lists of what needs to be done in each room, assign rooms to each kid, with time limits, and star values. (stars translate into cash) Then we tackle our lists from top to bottom.

3. What instrument would you like to learn to play?

I would love to play the drums, but I have no rhythm.

4. How is your mood when you're tired? Hungry? Ill?

Tired=cranky; hungry=cranky; ill=cranky. I see a pattern here...

5. If you could change a decision you made this week, what would it be?

Riding my motorcycle yesterday, since it meant I was on it for about 3 and a half hours.

6. Have you ever used public transportation regularly?
When we are in NY, we use PT into the city, and all over the city while we are there. We did the same thing in DC.

7. What are you thankful for this week?

My sister's and my Mom's surgeries going well.

8. What do you need to do more often?

Exercise. But we've been doing that a lot this week, so I'm getting better.